Hi my lovely family and friends:

Hope you are having a great week! The weekend is almost here. :)

I have an update/prayer request for you. I feel incredibly blessed that I have such great friends that I can email like this and ask to pray for me. I know there are lots of things in this world to be praying for, so thank you for allowing me to ask you ...for me to be one of them. Sometimes I feel guilty asking for prayer because I often feel someone else might need it more than I do. BUT I do know the power of prayer and I covet yours. I appreciate all of you so much.

I unfortunately started my cycle Sunday, but fortunately because I did start I was able to schedule the HSG test that has been canceled twice. I will be having the test done in Daytona on Wednesday at 12 pm. This is the test wear they will insert dye to see what shape uterus I have and if I have the "right" equipment. I know it is the weirdest prayer request ever, but please pray that my kidney malformation is the only malformation. :) I did have an internal sonogram a few weeks ago and it showed that I did NOT have cysts on my ovaries and that I DID have eggs. :) What does that mean? I am not sure. They don't want to eliminate PCOS yet, but have also have not been able to pin point anything else. Hopefully the HSG will give us some more information. I am praying we stay on this wave of good news.

I have had an incredibly good week, coming off of a really hard week.

:) As you can imagine, the week before starting my cycle is always extremely difficult because I enter the battle of trying to balance hope and guarding my heart from disappointment. And then you add raging hormones on top of that and well ... you get a hard week. But this week, I have been so filled with joy and have felt such a peace.

I feel like I am finally, really truly broken and all I can do is cling to the Lord. Which I am sure is where He was trying to get me. I can't fix this, I can't fix me. Only God open and closes wombs.

While I get it TODAY, I will probably have to reprocess this a million times over and be reminded again and again, because sometimes my heart has a disconnect with what my mind understands. It is a process...a refining process.

Thank you again for being my friends. It has been extremely healing for me to write and send these emails. Thank you for keeping us in your prayers.