Hi all. Sorry I have not been on to post. Some of you may have heard already that we got another, "No." I wanted to give you a quick update. We are deeply disappointed and grieving our losses. Feeling more encouraged as the days go on. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. I am headed out of town for a youth retreat. Please pray for sustainment and emotional energy to serve them. They are a joy and bless me greatly, but I am a little nervous that I have not much in me to give to them.
I will post as soon as I can with more details. Thanks again for the prayers.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Precious Cargo
We successfully had a frozen embryo transfered yesterday. They didn't get us in until about 3:30 pm even though my appointment was at 1:45 pm. I think they were a little behind. ha. They never are, so we didn't mind at all except for the fact that my bladder was about to BURST! When you go in for a transfer they have you drink 16 ounces of water an hour before your appointment. A full bladder forces your uterus to lie flat. Last time, if you remember, I had to drink 48 ounces of water to make my uterus lie down. SO this time, I drank 24 ounces an hour before my appointment, just to be one step ahead. Needless to say, 2 hours and 45 minutes later...I couldn't wait any longer. They eventually got me in and we are very thankful that our embryo thawed well and was ready for the transfer. There is some risk that it won't survive the thaw and we aren't taking the fact that it made it through that phase for granted. Miracle #8 in the process.
The procedure went great. The doctor and nurse staff were especially chatty, so it wasn't uncomfortable at all. Who thought you could sort of have a good time during a procedure like this?
I stayed in bed most of yesterday and this morning/early afternoon. Brad was a fantastic nurse as always. Making sure I actually stayed in bed. :) Hard for me to do. I was much more relaxed about it this time. Even though they said that you could sit up to eat last time, I ate my first meal horizontal on the couch last round. This time I did sit up to eat! And even moved my resting location a few times.
Thank you sweet friends for the delicious meal, sweet notes, texts, calls, and special delivery treats. They all brought us great comfort and encouragement.
Please continue to pray for baby Harby. I know we ask for a lot of prayers. Thank you for giving them so generously. Please also keep the women in our Common Thread ministry in your prayers also. I am not alone on this roller coaster ride for sure and we have a few women that received God's answer of, "Not yet," today. My heart is beyond heavy for them. I know this heartache all too well and am deeply saddened for them. I am thankful that God has provided a way for us to walk through this together.
Just wanted to give you a quick update. Ps- thanks for all the eye makeup remover suggestions. I can't wait to give one a spin!
Hugs.
The procedure went great. The doctor and nurse staff were especially chatty, so it wasn't uncomfortable at all. Who thought you could sort of have a good time during a procedure like this?
I stayed in bed most of yesterday and this morning/early afternoon. Brad was a fantastic nurse as always. Making sure I actually stayed in bed. :) Hard for me to do. I was much more relaxed about it this time. Even though they said that you could sit up to eat last time, I ate my first meal horizontal on the couch last round. This time I did sit up to eat! And even moved my resting location a few times.
Thank you sweet friends for the delicious meal, sweet notes, texts, calls, and special delivery treats. They all brought us great comfort and encouragement.
Please continue to pray for baby Harby. I know we ask for a lot of prayers. Thank you for giving them so generously. Please also keep the women in our Common Thread ministry in your prayers also. I am not alone on this roller coaster ride for sure and we have a few women that received God's answer of, "Not yet," today. My heart is beyond heavy for them. I know this heartache all too well and am deeply saddened for them. I am thankful that God has provided a way for us to walk through this together.
Just wanted to give you a quick update. Ps- thanks for all the eye makeup remover suggestions. I can't wait to give one a spin!
Hugs.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Waterproof Mascara
So two days ago I opened a new package of mascara, which is always a monumental moment for me because I use my mascara as long as possible so that I don't have to spend money to buy more and drag it out as long as possible. So I finally broke down and opened a new package of my favorite mascara. It's always hard to make the switch to a new tube, you get so used to working with the clumpage that you have to get used to working with the new texture of a fresh tube all over again. ANYWAY...the next day I washed my face like normal and still had mascara all over the place. What in the world? Loreal must have changed their formula. NOT, yesterday morning I discovered that I "accidentally" bought waterproof mascara. This is the second time I have done this. What a waste. Now I am forced to use eye make up remover, which I don't own because I can't stand the feeling of shlepping oil all over my eyes. I was frustrated with my mistake the whole time I was getting ready for the day. I had yet again wasted money on waterproof mascara. Dang it!
I carried on to bible study only to discover God had divinely appointed the mascara purchase. There was a pregnancy announcement in our group that morning. I am pretty used to getting pregnancy announcements so I wasn't expecting to get choked up about it. But I think it was just the timing...heading out of the loss of one baby and heading into a transfer this week. Not to mention I am highly injected with hormones. :) Needless to say, some tears may have found their way into the start of bible study yesterday morning. I cherish the women in that group and am thankful for the way they have supported me in all of this. They were very understanding. But I was disappointed in myself. I have said from day one that I didn't want to be the stealer of joy. I felt as though I had stolen her moment of celebration and joy. Ugh. I think the Lord has graciously allowed me to receive pregnancy news with great excitement and a genuine smile in the past knowing that every child is a miracle. But for some reason, things did not go as smoothly as they usually do yesterday. I couldn't muster up the ability to hold the tears back. I think overall I am doing really well handling the loss of our first baby and the emotions of another round of treatment, but today gave me a little clue that maybe I am not doing "good" all over. There are some parts of my heart that still hurt.
Needless to say, looking back, I don't think the waterproof mascara was a mistake. I chuckled to myself on the drive home thinking about how God even had me covered in the makeup department. Maybe He is trying to tell me that I should invest in some eye makeup remover as it may be a long time before I stop needing to wear waterproof mascara. :)
Our transfer is still scheduled for Monday. We don't have a time yet, but I will let you know when we know so you can pray more specifically. I think I am letting go more and more as the days go on. I'm starting to even get more excited about the potential colorfulness of our family if Brad and I aren't able to have our own children. Instead of being sad that they won't be blonde haired/blue-eyed babes, getting excited about the mysteriousness of what our family could look like.
Have a great weekend!! Taking suggestions for eye makeup removers. haha.
I carried on to bible study only to discover God had divinely appointed the mascara purchase. There was a pregnancy announcement in our group that morning. I am pretty used to getting pregnancy announcements so I wasn't expecting to get choked up about it. But I think it was just the timing...heading out of the loss of one baby and heading into a transfer this week. Not to mention I am highly injected with hormones. :) Needless to say, some tears may have found their way into the start of bible study yesterday morning. I cherish the women in that group and am thankful for the way they have supported me in all of this. They were very understanding. But I was disappointed in myself. I have said from day one that I didn't want to be the stealer of joy. I felt as though I had stolen her moment of celebration and joy. Ugh. I think the Lord has graciously allowed me to receive pregnancy news with great excitement and a genuine smile in the past knowing that every child is a miracle. But for some reason, things did not go as smoothly as they usually do yesterday. I couldn't muster up the ability to hold the tears back. I think overall I am doing really well handling the loss of our first baby and the emotions of another round of treatment, but today gave me a little clue that maybe I am not doing "good" all over. There are some parts of my heart that still hurt.
Needless to say, looking back, I don't think the waterproof mascara was a mistake. I chuckled to myself on the drive home thinking about how God even had me covered in the makeup department. Maybe He is trying to tell me that I should invest in some eye makeup remover as it may be a long time before I stop needing to wear waterproof mascara. :)
Our transfer is still scheduled for Monday. We don't have a time yet, but I will let you know when we know so you can pray more specifically. I think I am letting go more and more as the days go on. I'm starting to even get more excited about the potential colorfulness of our family if Brad and I aren't able to have our own children. Instead of being sad that they won't be blonde haired/blue-eyed babes, getting excited about the mysteriousness of what our family could look like.
Have a great weekend!! Taking suggestions for eye makeup removers. haha.
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