tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10132563981921257072024-03-04T23:46:40.909-05:00Fearfully and Wonderfully MadeMy journey with an Unicorunate Uterus, PCOS, and a God that is bigger than both!Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.comBlogger62125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-4654647235765001942014-02-12T14:10:00.003-05:002014-02-12T14:18:56.848-05:00Walking in Faith<b id="docs-internal-guid-3904ea65-2777-f9ea-57bf-28b1b965cf43"></b><br />
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-3904ea65-2777-f9ea-57bf-28b1b965cf43"><b id="docs-internal-guid-3904ea65-277a-acc5-bbc0-709c927b31da"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know I haven’t blogged in ages… but a sweet friend encouraged me that I should blog again if I felt led to and so here I am… :). Taking a step of faith to share what God has been teaching me the last month. </span></b></b></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-3904ea65-2777-f9ea-57bf-28b1b965cf43"><b id="docs-internal-guid-3904ea65-277a-acc5-bbc0-709c927b31da"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Faith. For a five letter word, it is quite hefty and complex to unravel. It means so many different things for every person and has a depth to it that I will never fully understand. Yet, at the same time it is a word that is severely watered down for a lot of us. We exercise faith daily in really mundane things and also complicated things. I have faith that this chair I am sitting on is going to continue to hold me up. I have faith that this water I am drinking is going to hydrate me even though I can’t see it happening. And I also have faith in massively significant things like the gospel and that Jesus is who He says He is. I have faith in His promises. Faith being the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen (Heb. 11:1) is quite complicated. The word faith is often vague because of its overuse and many applications, but somehow is also still really simple. </span></b></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> That being said, when I think about what God has been teaching me in this season it feels silly to say faith. On one level it seems overly simple and elementary in ways. And on the other hand, not silly at all, because how could we ever fully come to know what it means to live by faith? However, it is obvious that that is what He has been after me about: living and walking by faith. And this is only one aspect of faith...like I said it’s a multi-faceted, complicated word.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Faith in Him, what He can do, what He has called us to, who He says He is, and also, what it means to “have faith” or “live by faith.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Every single morning for the past month God has been calling me out on my faith. The first occurrence was in mid-January. I was reading and praying one morning, overly anxious about something and I open an infertility email that spoke about Mark 4, when Jesus and His disciples were caught in a great storm. Water was coming in the boat and Jesus was sleeping. The disciples woke him up saying something like, “Dude, don’t you see we are about to die?” In three words Jesus calmed the storm, “Peace, be still!” The wind ceased and there was a great calm. Then he said, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?” After all you have witnessed and after the many ways I have been faithful to you, you STILL don’t have faith? I confessed my lack of faith in a particular situation and I immediately felt my heart calm. I was reminded that God can change a heart or circumstance in little or no words, a blink. I also felt so convicted that I had become so fearful and had forgotten His ever-present faithfulness. I then opened my Jesus Calling devotional and what do you know, that day’s reading was about Peter walking on water and how he began to sink when he doubted. Jesus said to him, “O’ you of little faith, why did you doubt?” Sarah Young writes, “Circumstances around you are undulating, and there are treacherous-looking waves in the distance. Fix your eyes on Me, the One who never changes. By the time those waves reach you, they will have shrunk to the proportions of My design.” Gee whiz, I was sensing a theme. Waves, faith and my doubt. Then I get up and head to the room to get ready for the day, turn on Pandora and Hillsong’s song “Oceans” is streaming through the speakers. I am telling you…He has been after me like that about faith. And that was just one morning’s experience. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I have had to pray every single day for God to increase my faith. And He has been so faithful to provide. I love the story in Mark 9 when a father asks Jesus, “if He can,” heal his son from a demon. Jesus replies, “If you can! All things are possible for one who believes.” The father CRIED out, “I believe; help my unbelief.” I have had to pray that so many times, “I believe, I have faith, Lord, but please increase my faith and belief where it is lacking.” It has been such a sweet time with the Lord, to audibly hear Him call me to faith, but then being able to admit my brokenness and inability to have perfect faith. He has been so faithful to increase my trust and faith, while calling me deeper into it. How amazing is He? He not only calls us to something, but also comes right alongside and gives us what we need.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> As I have been journeying through faith, I have been having to ask what does it look like to have faith and exercise it? I think in our culture we often wrap faith in this cute little bow and expect feelings of warm and fuzzy peace. We think if God is asking us to take a step of faith, we will feel peace. If we don’t feel peace, it must not be from the Lord. Or if God asks us to do something in faith that it will make sense or be clear. I had been praying that God would show me how to know when He is leading in a step of faith. Will I have peace and complete trust? Will it always make sense? He led me to Hebrews 11. Literally, that day I opened up to Hebrews 11 after praying the above.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">>“</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">By faith</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Noah, being warned by God concerning events yet UNSEEN, in REVERENT FEAR constructed an ark for the saving of his household.” It does not say, in peace and complete trust he constructed an ark. And surely, nothing about what God asked him to do made sense. I don’t even have to go into the ridiculousness of what God asked Noah to do. But he did it anyway.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">>“</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">By faith </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Abraham OBEYED when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going.” Obey means to submit, conform, and comply. The word certainly doesn’t make you see the decision as filled with peace and assurance. Abraham didn’t walk in faith with the stipulation that He would know where He was going or how it would turn out. It was by faith.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">>“</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">By faith</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Abraham, when he was tested offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was in the act of offering up his only son of who it was said, ‘Through Isaac shall your offspring be named.’” I don’t imagine Abraham felt all warm and fuzzy, and at peace when offering his son as a sacrifice. He had faith in God’s promises regardless of the circumstances, although I am sure his heart wasn’t bursting with peace as he laid his son on the altar. Nor did it make sense that God would ask Abraham to sacrifice the one through whom He promised his offspring would come.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">>“</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">By faith</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Moses, when he was grown refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, CHOOSING rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin.” Does it make sense that Moses would leave the Kingship he could see for the One he couldn’t? But it was a choice. Scripture doesn’t paint this experience as one of warm and fuzzy peace. He chose mistreatment and mocking over the powerful position of Pharaoh’s grandson.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">>“</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">By faith</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> the people crossed the Red Sea as if on dry land, but the Egyptians, when they attempted to do the same were drowned.” Setting foot into the water to cross it certainly didn’t make sense, but they stepped into the water anyway. They didn’t know if they would get to the other side, but they wouldn’t know if they didn’t take the first step. And God was faithful. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #363030; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And what more shall I say? For time would fail me to tell of Gideon,Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets—who </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #363030; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">through faith </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #363030; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises,stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. Women received back their dead by resurrection. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #363030; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life. Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #363030; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">—of whom the world was not worthy—wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #363030; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And all these, though commended through their faith, did not receive what was promised, since God had provided something better for us,that apart from us they should not be made perfect.” Hebrews 11:32-40.</span></div>
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<b id="docs-internal-guid-3904ea65-2777-f9ea-57bf-28b1b965cf43"><b id="docs-internal-guid-3904ea65-277a-acc5-bbc0-709c927b31da"><b id="docs-internal-guid-3904ea65-2777-f9ea-57bf-28b1b965cf43"><b id="docs-internal-guid-3904ea65-277a-acc5-bbc0-709c927b31da"><b id="docs-internal-guid-3904ea65-2777-f9ea-57bf-28b1b965cf43"><b id="docs-internal-guid-3904ea65-277a-acc5-bbc0-709c927b31da"><span style="background-color: white; color: #363030; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">ALL in faith. A clear testament to the fact that faith doesn’t always look warm and fuzzy, and full of peace. It is certainly clear that it doesn't always make sense. And being obedient to God’s leading and steps of faith doesn’t mean we will receive our reward here on earth. Sometimes I think I deserve the reward of what I took the step of faith for here and now. So self-righteous, I tell ya. It isn’t promised for the here and now. The reward could come or it could not.</span></b></b></b></b></b></b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #363030; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">BUT our God is so loving that even when He asks you to take a step of faith or to walk by faith, He promises to be WITH you and shows up to prod you along the way. He has made me so aware of that, through the way He shows up daily to make His presence known to me.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #363030; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">By faith Jesus went to the cross for me. And that doesn’t make sense now does it?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #363030; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> The peace of God that surpasses all understanding MAY come before, in the middle, or after the step of obedience and faith is taken. I think God has just been teaching me that it isn’t always beforehand. No matter the circumstances, good or bad, with prayer and thanksgiving (unto Him), the peace of God will come in the journey of walking it out by faith. He does assure us of that. Philippians 4:6-7</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-2016429463882702432012-12-17T10:04:00.001-05:002012-12-17T10:04:29.385-05:00Well Said... Merry Christmas<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" id="templateBody" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: white; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-collapse: collapse !important; border-top-width: 0px; width: 100%px;"><tbody>
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.234375); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.234375); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.300781); -webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I recently heard a little girl sweetly singing a Christmas carol to the top of her lungs. She had her angelic face tilted just perfectly, her eyes closed, and with all the gusto her 9 year old heart could muster, she belted out <i>“I’m dreaming of a</i><b><i>‘why’ </i></b><i>Christmas!” </i>Not quite the Bing Crosby version most of us have grown up with, but perhaps the more appropriate one for those who face the holiday season with infertility.</span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.234375); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.234375); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.300781); -webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">There are so many, many “whys” during the holidays. The strong emphasis placed on family relationships during this time of year spotlights the whys your heart carries. Why can some people have babies so easily yet I am facing another year childless? Why did my baby not survive yet another chose to abort? Why does God choose to grant a healthy pregnancy to someone who calls her baby an “accident” when I have done any and every thing I can do to conceive and nothing has worked? Why? <i>Why? </i><b><i>Why?</i></b></span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.234375); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.234375); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.300781); -webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Are you struggling with a “Why Christmas” this year? If so, then I encourage you to consider “Why Christmas?” Why did God give us Christmas? Imagine if you will, that an amazing miracle would occur today, and your doctor would call you and say that according to your latest test results you are perfectly pregnant. All your hormone levels are exactly as they should be and the next nine months are blissfully filled with your bulging belly and growing baby. You give birth to a perfect child and all is right with the world. You cannot believe the love your heart hold for this miracle in the flesh who has your eyes and your husband’s chin. </span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.234375); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.234375); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.300781); -webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">However, in the greatest act of love imaginable, you hand this much desired baby over to someone else. The love you hold for you baby is incomprehensible, but you know the other person will perish if you do not give them your child, and you cannot bear the thought, so with more compassion that you ever dreamed possible, you give them the gift of the baby you have desired so long. This person doesn’t even know your name, doesn’t love your baby, and really doesn’t even care that this child exists. You give your child to someone else because you know they need your baby to survive, and they don’t even realize it. They look at you as if you’ve lost your mind, and they tell you they don’t want your baby and walk away. </span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.234375); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.234375); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.300781); -webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Can you imagine loving another person so much that you’d give your baby to them? God can. </span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.234375); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.234375); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.300781); -webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><b><i>God loves you so much, He gave His Baby to you on Christmas. </i></b>He gave you His Baby because He knew you needed Him to survive. <i>For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)</i> He knew your heart would be filled with so many “whys” this Christmas and you needed God Emmanuel, God with you. That’s <b><i>why</i></b> God gave Christmas. </span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.234375); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.234375); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.300781); -webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">If your heart is filled with all the whys of infertility, and you’re dreaming of a “why Christmas”, remind yourself of why God gave us Christmas. He loves us. He gave us His Baby. God Emmanuel. <i>God with us</i>. God with us through the good time. God with us in the bad times. God with us at the doctor’s offices. God with us when the periods starts and the pregnancy tests are negative. God with us through the tearful nights. God with us in good times. God with us when family celebrations are too hard. He is God with us because God gave us His Son that first Christmas night. God with us to make a way for sins to be forgiven so we can be with Him for eternity.</span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.234375); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.234375); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.300781); -webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">That is <b><i>why</i></b> God gave us Christmas.</span><br />
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Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-19974216159014629742012-12-13T15:50:00.000-05:002012-12-13T15:50:00.971-05:00A Different Pair of Glasses...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sunday I woke up to a text from a friend who attended the early service at church. He reminded me and Brad how much he cared for us. Immediately I asked, "Thank you. Do I need tissues for church?" When we walked through the doors of church my sweet mother-in-law snuck me a tissue. Uh oh. Here we go.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I am really posting what was shared on the other side of those doors to encourage all of my "without" children friends to think of the broken hearted all around us. Not to say to anyone reading this, "Please think of me," but rather to all of us, "Let's think of them." The whole time I listened to this sermon I was in awe of two things and in addition thankful for an encouragement for me personally. First thing, Doug nailed it. I think the Lord gave him great insight into this passage, Acts 12:1-19. There was half of a sentence dedicated to James and his beheading. There is a whole lot behind that one sentence...and a whole lot of hearts affected by the news given in that one sentence. I believe, the insight wrapped up in that short one lined statement is a lot of people's experience, but most people skip over it and focus on the Peter like celebrations. I am not going to tell you more, you just have to listen to the sermon. :) And if you don't listen to it, the rest of this post will make NO sense.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sermon:</span><br />
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<a href="http://christianfamilychapel.com/media/detail/day-29-the-dark-side-of-the-miraculous"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">http://christianfamilychapel.com/media/detail/day-29-the-dark-side-of-the-miraculous</span></a><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Secondly, I think he gives great insight on the perspective that I somewhat believe can only truly be gained by experiencing pain, heartache, or loss yourself. I thought it was such a good reminder. I had a list of people running through my head as he spoke. Infertility has given me those glasses. Sometimes I want take them off because it hurts too bad, but I am thankful to see people in a different way. Doug said, "When you are experiencing joy, you can be sure someone else is experiencing heartache." Sometimes it is exhausting, but in most instances of joy my heart is immediately burdened for someone in the room that might be extremely saddened by the celebration. Odd right? I felt like this sermon is my life experience. I have been that person in the room whose heart is shattering and I think it has given me such an awareness of those people...the Jameses (family and friends of James really) in the room. I thought it was such a great reminder to all of us (but directly speaking to my infertile friends) to put our life experience into practice. We know firsthand why the holidays make us sad in a lot of ways and usually it is the absence of a loved one in some form or the presence of an unmet desire for a loved one in some form. The joy that lots of people are experiencing highlight the absence of joy in many hearts. But we, I, often don't act to reach out to those people.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I am often afraid to act on the things God places on my heart to do for the Jameses in my life. I don't want to offend them or stir something that would make them sad. Doug shares a personal story about a friend that reminds him that his act of encouragement is no reminder, because he has never forgotten and minute by minute he remembers his loss. It couldn't be more true. I know that to be true for myself, your calling me when another friend announces a pregnancy or birth is not reminding me that we aren't. Trust me. You can pretty much guarantee we are processing through the emotions of all of that...thrilled for our friends, but broken too. But acknowledging blesses. You aren't reminding us of anything. And for some reason the acknowledgement heals and gives courage. YET, even though I know this firsthand, I am still fearful of acting all the time when I know a heart is breaking in a time of celebration. I fall short. Thank you, Lord, for grace and lots of it.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> My challenge to you, my friends and myself, is to act on the heartache God opens your eyes to this Christmas and all year round. I have shared with my Common Thread girls that God has given me a heart for single people and widows. How are their hearts hurting this Christmas? How can I love on them? I CANNOT fix or change their situation, but I can acknowledge it. Acknowledgment comforts. Perhaps it throws a rope to the island where isolation is setting in? I think often people think that acknowledging is encouraging someone to wallow, and maybe in some unique cases that might be true, but it's not. You are simply agreeing that you are grieving with them.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Personally, in attempting to not let satan steal my joy this Christmas, I have to hour by hour put on and put off the thoughts that keep my eyes on me and my desires. As I was typing, I looked up at our tree (the one I had to battle to put up because part of my heart didn't really want to), I thought, "What I wouldn't give to have little ones around our Christmas tree!" As soon as I finished typing that sentence, the Holy Spirit whispered, "Oh, but how many children would give anything in the world to sit around your tree?" Put off, put on. Thank you for your perspective, Jesus. Ouch, I hear ya. So eyes off self and eyes on the Jameses in my life.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Christmas is about my savior being born. "For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord," Luke 2:11. And because He was born the Lord was able to, "...<i>give</i> his only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life," John 3:16b. "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not of your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast," Ephesians 2:8-9. And because a Savior was born, what does it mean for the Jameses? </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>"He will swallow up death forever;</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><b>and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces,</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>for the LORD has spoken.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>It will be said on that day,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>This is the LORD; we have waited for him;</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.”</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> (Isaiah 25:8-9)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>"He heals the brokenhearted</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>and binds up their wounds.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>He determines the number of the stars;</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>he gives to all of them their names.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Great is our Lord, and abundant in power;</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>his understanding is beyond measure."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> (Psalm 147:3-5)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> How can we possibly comfort them? "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, <b>who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction,</b> with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too," 2 Corinthians 1:3-5. Simply by sharing the love and comfort we have received through our Lord and Savior. What a fight it will be to keep this perspective this Christmas. There are a lot of hurting people all around us. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> In processing all of that, I was highly encouraged by Doug's statement that it is not sinful to be the James (or family members of) in the room. I beat myself up a lot. Okay, a lot, a lot. To say I am hard on myself is an understatement. My mom used to say she didn't have to punish me because I punished myself. :/ My sweet friend Melissa Price has to continually remind me that it is okay to grieve and that it is not sinful as long as I don't stay there. I get so mad at myself when my heart is not leaping for joy at every pregnancy announcement, or every baby picture, or family photo posted on Facebook. I get frustrated that my heart is even a little sad. I hear satan say, "You are so selfish." It was so nice to hear someone confirm AGAIN, that it is okay to grieve. "Grieving is not the absence of believing, but the evidence of loving," Doug Rutt...or for me, wanting to grow the love Brad and I have for each other, and to share that love with little ones. Grieving doesn't mean I don't believe every child is a good gift and that I am not rejoicing with them, but it does mean that part of my heart is burdened. And that is okay. God's word says, "Rejoice IN THE LORD always; again, I will say Rejoice," Philippians 4:4. I am commanded to REJOICE in the HOPE that I have in HIM. Rejoicing with hope means that there must be part of you that is broken and HOPING in Christ. If we were perfectly, fully rejoicing, why would we need to hope in Him? Maybe I can stop beating myself up so much.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weap," Rom. 12:15.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope," Romans 15:13.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On another note:</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A sweet friend who I met by accepting an invitation to a spontaneous trip to the Keys, Lauren White, sent me a text a few days ago with a link to a most encouraging blog. I could so relate to this post and the pictures in it, as I am sure many of you could also. I was so excited to see the beautiful color her children brought to the pictures. :) A great reminder of God's PERFECT timing.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">http://elderadventures.blogspot.com/search/label/friends</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And then Lauren sent another...totally sucked in...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">http://www.pureandlasting.com/</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hope these blogs encourage you too! </span>Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-52091500240383840042012-10-15T13:24:00.001-04:002012-10-15T13:24:04.320-04:00Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Excerpt from Sarah's Laughter Email Support:</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Today is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day, a day set aside to honor babies lost to miscarriage, stillbirth or early infant loss. Surely life has no greater sorrow than the loss of a child. How grateful we are that God Himself understands this hurt.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Tears are frequent companions along the road you travel. They appear at the most inconvenient times and refuse to be silenced. Your heart is heavy from the burden you bear, and life insults you by continuing on.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">You have an appointment, and it is one your heart will want to keep. Facing the loss of your precious babies, appointments with doctors become something that we tend to fear or dread. We grow weary of bad reports and worse realities. Many times the appointments raise more questions than ever, and they all remain unanswered. But there is an appointment set for you with the One who holds every answer to every question your heart has ever asked. You have an appointment with God.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">One day, you will stand face to face with the God who chose to allow you to suffer through the unbelievable sorrow of the death of your babies. One day, you will look into the eyes of Love Himself and finally have a conversation with the only One who knows the reasons why. What will God do? The answer is found in Revelation 21:3-5:</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">And I heard a loud voice from the throne, say, “Behold, the tabernacle of God</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">God Himself will be among them, and</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain;</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">the first things have passed away.” And He who sits on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” And He said, “Write, for these words are faithful and true.”</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Your tears will come to an end that day. The same hand that formed the first man, the same hand that stretched out over raging waters and calmed a storm, the same hand that had a nail driven through it, the same hand that formed your babies in your womb, will one day reach out to you again, and wipe the tears from your face. He’ll lock eyes with you and touch your face. Your tears and your hurt will vanish, never to take residence in your heart again. With compassion unmatched through time and eternity, your Heavenly Father will make all things new, and will banish sorrow and mourning from your heart. No more death. No more pain. No more prematurity. No more separation. All things will be made new.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Until that day, weep when you need to. The same Lord who will wipe your tears away takes note of those same tears today, and He keeps them in a bottle. He promises to be near to you when you are brokenhearted. He must be close today.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">So grieve as you need to. Just don’t grieve as those who have no hope. Your tears will end one day, and you’ll see your babies again. It’s an appointment I know you’ll want to keep.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">(c) 2012 Sarah’s Laughter-Christian Support for Infertility & Child Loss</span>Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-15952477995995457092012-10-03T09:55:00.005-04:002012-10-03T09:55:58.041-04:00Continually RelevantI was cleaning out a few things yesterday and stumbled upon an old note from a friend. I believe the note is about 7-9 years old and is from my college days. I had to chuckle as I read it, because I was apparently struggling with the same thing years ago that I am today...just different circumstances. And the great thing is God's word is still relevant and still carries the same level of truth.<br />
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I am currently seeking to be content in our circumstances and to find ways to serve since we are flexible and don't have children. :) I am attempting to sow and live in today, not focusing so much on the uncontrollable future. Today holds so many blessings and if I am continually looking forward worrying about what our future holds OR doesn't hold for that matter, I will miss out on today's gifts and opportunities. <br />
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I am sure I will pick up this very same card in another 10 years and still be trying to apply it, a timeless truth. :)Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-42077051442856820682012-10-01T13:43:00.001-04:002012-10-01T13:49:46.026-04:00Self TalkAs many of you already know, we lost another pregnancy. We now have six little ones who rest with our Lord and King. It will be the dang Brady Bunch when Brad and I get to heaven! I am still processing and grieving the baby lost, pregnancy in itself, and motherhood. Maybe I can find words for all of that some day soon. Until then I am fighting to speak truth to myself. I dug up some old counseling materials from my time with Michele. I was encouraged again by these words to seek truth though God's word, so that I can get back in right thinking about our circumstances. I hope it encourages you where ever He has you.<br />
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"The point is we found our happiness and contentedness in the relationship, not in our circumstances.<br />
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The same principle applies but on a much grander scale when we know God well and consider the kind of person Who is in our circumstances with us. This was the attitude of the prophets and the apostles. Though they faced persecution and adversity, they were amazingly joyful and content because of what they experienced in their relationship with God Himself. The is the divine intention for all of us.<br />
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We must learn to interpret our experiences by what we know about God through His Word instead of interpreting what God is like by our experiences. If we do not ground our belief about the nature of God and His disposition to us in the Scriptures, we will reject much of what He says about Himself when we face difficulty." Tracking : The Way Down."<br />
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The Lord gave me this passage right before we got our "no." <br />
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<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>"Arise, O LORD! Confront him, subdue him!<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Deliver my soul from the wicked by your sword,<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>from men by your hand, O LORD,<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>from men of the world whose portion is in this life.<br />
<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><b>You fill their womb with treasure;</b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>they are satisfied with children,</b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>and they leave their abundance to their infants.</b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness;</b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness."</b><br />
(Psalm 17:13-15 ESV)<br />
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Lord, may I be content with you growing us up in you and shaping us to your likeness. It's my prayer that I would get there.Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-28836656740808424562012-08-31T22:21:00.001-04:002012-08-31T22:21:43.475-04:00Our Father Wants Us to Ask<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lately, God has been teaching me more about prayer. Sounds like a simple subject right? Wrong. haha. A new amazing friend asked me if she could pray in a very specific manner for our next round of treatment. The idea the Lord gave her spurred me to get on here and share what God has taught me in recent months about prayer. I don't fully understand all that is prayer, but I God has given me a few tid bits over the last few months that have been thrilling and so encouraging. I hope this post does your heart well also and stirs the desire to pray more boldly.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I think because I believe in God's sovereignty and believe that His GOOD will will be done, I struggle with prayer. I know that God will do what is best for us and I want what He wants anyway. I have no problem praying for someone else and asking God to do something in his or her life. None at all. And I love praying for other people. I have a hard time praying for myself. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> It's certainly not because I don't think I need it. :) It is hard to ask God for something, when in the end I just want what He wants for us. So I start to ask God if He could move or do something in a particular situation and I end up with nothing to say except for, "I know your works are kind and that your plan for me is good. So, Lord may your will be done with me. We want what you want for our family." I never, ever want to receive anything outside of God's good will or to ask Him anything that might be out of it. It's crazy living up in this head of mine. haha.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> God has been showing me through other people in my life that He does want us to ASK Him for His blessings. It doesn't mean we will always get them. And it doesn't mean He won't change what we are asking for until it aligns with His heart, but He does want His children to come before His throne and ASK.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> <span class="text John-14-12" id="en-ESV-26669"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;"> </sup>“Truly, truly, I say to you, <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26669A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup>whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26669B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup>am going to the Father.</span></span> <span class="text John-14-13" id="en-ESV-26670"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;"> </sup><sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26670C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></sup>Whatever you ASK in my name, this I will do, <b>that <sup class="crossreference" style="line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26670D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)"></sup>the Father may be glorified in the Son</b>.</span></span> <span class="text John-14-14" id="en-ESV-26671"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;"> </sup><sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26671E" title="See cross-reference E">E</a>)"></sup>If you ASK me anything in my name, I will do it," John 14: 12-14. I do believe Jesus, is referring to asking for Him to act on our behalf when doing works to honor Him. Works that He would do if He were here. But ultimately He is asking us to ASK. And He will answer so that God will be glorified.</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="text John-14-14" id="en-ESV-26671"><span class="woj"> <b>"</b></span></span><span class="text John-15-16" id="en-ESV-26704"><span class="woj">You did not choose me, but <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26704A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup>I chose you and appointed you that you should go and <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26704B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup>bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26704C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></sup>whatever you ASK the Father in my name, he may give it to you.</span></span> <span class="text John-15-17" id="en-ESV-26705"><span class="woj">These things I command you, <sup class="crossreference" style="line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26705D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)"></sup><b>so that you will love one another</b>," John 15: 16-17. I believe in my finite understanding that Jesus is telling us to ask for His blessings to bear fruit and His power to love one another. He is telling us to ASK.</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="text John-15-17" id="en-ESV-26705"><span class="woj"> "</span></span><span class="text John-16-22" id="en-ESV-26737"><span class="woj">So also you have sorrow now, but <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26737B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup>I will see you again, and <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26737C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></sup>your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.</span></span> <span class="text John-16-23" id="en-ESV-26738"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;"> </sup><sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26738D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)"></sup>In that day you will <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26738E" title="See cross-reference E">E</a>)"></sup>ask nothing of me. Truly, truly, I say to you, <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26738F" title="See cross-reference F">F</a>)"></sup>whatever you ASK of the Father in my name, <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26738G" title="See cross-reference G">G</a>)"></sup>he will give it to you.</span></span> <span class="text John-16-24" id="en-ESV-26739"><span class="woj"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;"> </sup>Until now you have asked nothing in my name. <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26739H" title="See cross-reference H">H</a>)"></sup>ASK, and you will receive, <sup class="crossreference" style="line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-26739I" title="See cross-reference I">I</a>)"></sup><b>that your joy may be full</b>," John 16: 22-24. Jesus is talking about when He goes away to be at the right hand of God. He says He wants us to ASK so that our joy may be full. How kind of our God? Ask so that I can give you power to do my works, power to love one another, and further so that your joy may be full! </span></span></span><br />
<span class="text John-16-24" id="en-ESV-26739"><span class="woj"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> He loves when we ask because it is a joy for Him to answer. If we don't ask for it, would we lose sight of just how big of a blessing His answer is? I think I often do. When I ask God to do something specifically and He answers, I want to pick up the phone and tell everyone. It is hard to miss when He answers if you asked for something specific. We become so unaware of His blessings when they are just there and we didn't ask for them. </span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="text John-14-14" id="en-ESV-26671"><span class="woj"> I have also been noting all over the scriptures how much God notes our prayers being HEARD. "</span></span><span class="text Luke-1-5">In the days of Herod, king of Judea, there was a priest named Zechariah,<b> </b>of <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-24890O" title="See cross-reference O">O</a>)"></sup>the division of Abijah. And he had a wife from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth.</span> <b> </b><span class="text Luke-1-6" id="en-ESV-24891">And they were both <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-24891P" title="See cross-reference P">P</a>)"></sup>righteous before God, walking <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-24891Q" title="See cross-reference Q">Q</a>)"></sup>blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord.</span> <span class="text Luke-1-7" id="en-ESV-24892"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;"> </sup>But they had no child, because <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-24892R" title="See cross-reference R">R</a>)"></sup>Elizabeth was barren, and <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-24892S" title="See cross-reference S">S</a>)"></sup>both were advanced in years," and angel appeared to Zechariah while he was on duty serving as a priest and, "...the angel said to him, 'Do not be afraid, Zecheriah, for YOUR PRAYER HAS BEEN HEARD, and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John," Luke 1:5-7, 13. God to Rachel, who was also barren, "Then God remembered Rachel, and God LISTENED to her and opened her womb. She conceived and bore a son (Joseph)..." Genesis 30:22. "And Isaac PRAYED to the Lord for his wife, because she was barren. And the Lord granted his prayer, and Rebekah his wife conceived," Genesis 25:21. And also with Abraham, "T</span><span class="text Gen-20-17" id="en-ESV-513">hen <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-513A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup>Abraham PRAYED to God, and God healed Abimelech, and also healed his wife and female slaves so that they bore children.</span> <span class="text Gen-20-18" id="en-ESV-514"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;"> </sup>For the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-514B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup>had closed all the wombs of the house of Abimelech because of Sarah, Abraham's wife," Genesis 20: 17-18. God hears our prayers and loves both the prayers of His sons and daughters.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span class="text Luke-1-7" id="en-ESV-24892"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #444444;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+30:6&version=ESV" style="text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #444444;">Genesis 30:6</span></a></strong><br />Then Rachel said, “God has judged me, and has also <b>heard</b> my voice and given me a son.” Therefore she called his name Dan.</span><br />
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<strong><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+2:24&version=ESV" style="text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Exodus 2:24</span></a></strong><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And God <b>heard</b> their groaning, and God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>E</strong><strong>xodus 3:7</strong></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then the LORD said, “I have surely seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt and have <b>heard</b> their cry because of their taskmasters. I know their sufferings,</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #444444; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Deuteronomy 26:7-8.</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="text Deut-26-7" id="en-ESV-5574">Then <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-5574B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup>we cried to the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>, the God of our fathers, and the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> <b>heard </b>our voice and saw our affliction, our toil, and our oppression.</span> <span class="text Deut-26-8" id="en-ESV-5575"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;"> </sup>And <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-5575C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></sup>the <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span> brought us out of Egypt <sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-5575D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)"></sup>with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, with great deeds of terror, with signs and wonders.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #444444;">Psalm 6:9</span></b>The LORD has <b>heard</b> my plea; the LORD accepts my prayer.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Need I say more? I am loving this study of God hearing our prayers. I could have listed 70 more verses, but I know you wouldn't read them all ;). He wants to hear from us. Brad and I have grown weary in our prayers, because we again want what God wants and we know that God knows our hearts' desires. We feel like broken records sometimes. :) I am encouraged tonight to pray specifically and to ASK...then I am going to trust that He HEARS me. The answers might not come on our timing or look like we expected, but we will know if He does answer if we pray and ASK Him for specific blessings. </span><br />
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<span class="text John-14-14" id="en-ESV-26671"><span class="woj"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></span></span>Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-11397567901126938882012-08-21T10:59:00.000-04:002012-08-21T10:59:32.538-04:00SufferingA friend shared the book, <i>The Gospel of Ruth: Loving God Enough to Break the Rules, </i>and I have absolutely loved every second of it. I have read it very slowly because there is so much to soak up on each page. I wanted to share a little excerpt that has been encouraging to me. I tried posting a PDF of it, because I didn't feel like typing the whole thing out, ahh but no luck. <br />
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"God harnesses the sufferings of his children and compels the bad things that happen to us to serve his good purposes for us and for our mission in this world. This doesn't fit with how we normally look at things, but author Eugene Peterson confirms that once again we've gotten things backwards, for this is how God has always worked with his own:<br />
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We live in a time when everyone's goal is to be perpetually healthy and constantly happy...<br />
If any one of us fails to live up to the standards that are advertised as normative, we are labeled as<br />
a problem to be solved, and a host of well-intentioned people rush to try out various cures on<br />
us...The gospel offers a different view of suffering: in suffering we enter the depths; we are at<br />
the heart of things; we are near to where Christ was on the cross.<br />
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I have to ask myself how I can possibly expect to know Jesus as he would want to be known if my life remains unscathed by trouble and grief. How can I hope to grasp anything of God's heart for this broken planet never weep because its brokenness touches me and breaks my heart? How can I reflect his image if I never share in his sufferings? And how will any of us ever learn to treasure his hesed and grace if we never experience phases where these blessings seem absent? I wish I could learn these lessons vicariously, but I'm afraid that isn't the norm for any of us. Without knowing suffering and confusion firsthand, we're suck in the superficial and we cannot, much less express, the heart of Christ for others.<br />
Does Naomi (Ruth's mother-in-law) see all of this? I don't think so. In the midst of the struggle (of losing her husband and two sons), she is no different than us. She only feels the pain of loss and the misery of believing God has turned his back her. But she will learn things about God in this dark place that she never would have noticed in the light. And through this painfully honest journey, God is building a history with his daughter that will fortify her confidence in him and maker her wise for the task ahead. Rick Warren could have been thinking of Naomi when he wrote that, 'your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts.'"<br />
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I love this statement from Carolyn Custis James too. It is so true, when things are all good and gravy, God's daily gifts often skirt by unnoticed. "Prosperity tends to dull our senses to the presence of God's hesed (grace) in our lives. But, when trouble strikes and you're sitting in the darkness with a heart that aches for him, the slightest sign of his presence is monumental." Thanking Him daily for His minute by minute presence and comfort as I go throughout my day!<br />
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<br />Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-37167532187734293432012-08-17T16:42:00.000-04:002012-08-17T16:42:53.169-04:00I'm Sorry It's Not Good News<br />
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.1357160429470241" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“I’m sorry, it’s not good news.” Those are the words we have heard on the last four pregnancy result days. Brad took the call this time, so at least I can only replay the old fateful calls in my head. This time, Brad softened the blow for me. I only had to see the weight of disappointment as the lines in his face fell to know the answer, before I made my way down the hallway to our bedroom where I have spent far too many days crying out to God asking, “Why? How much longer will I have to endure this heartache?”</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I am learning it’s okay to ask why and how long? Scripture, especially the Psalms are full of these two questions. “Asking how long can be done without accusing God of being late, “ Michele McKee, Waiting Well on the Lord. He knows the intentions of our hearts (Psalm 139).</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?</span></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>How long will you hide your face from me?</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>How long must I take counsel in my soul</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>and have sorrow in my heart all the day?</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Consider and answer me, O LORD my God;</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>But I have trusted in your steadfast love;</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I will sing to the LORD,</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>because he has dealt bountifully with me.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(Psalm 13 ESV)</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It is appropriate to cry out to God for deliverance. “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold,” Psalm 18:2. Three times Paul asks God to remove the thorn from his flesh in 2 Corinthians 12, but God does not rebuke him for asking for deliverance, He simply replies, “My grace is sufficient for you, for MY power is made perfect in weakeness,” 2 Corin. 12:9.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Later that night, eyes swollen beyond recognition, I stood in the mirror before getting in the shower. I stood there in shock. It still didn’t seem real. I had estrogen sticker remnants all over my stomach and welted hips on both sides, with knots and needle marks from all of the progesterone shots. But my womb was still empty. I just dropped my head in my hands and wept. These drugs are so hard on my body and I still have nothing to show for it. I know God has done great things in my heart, but my poor body has been through the ringer. I just stood there and asked, “Why?” over and over again. This can’t be happening again. “How many times can I do this?” My body’s response to the hormone drugs seems like such a cruel joke. I have all the symptoms of someone who “may” be pregnant and to top it off I KNOW that a baby was put inside of me. My poor heart and mind swing on a continuous pendulum of hope and then reality that the symptoms are probably just drug related and not baby related at all. It seems so cruel that my body begins to take on its role, my heart wants to, and in the end there is no role for either to fulfill. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I teeter through the long waiting days after the transfer between imagining that I have an embryo developing inside of me and the hope of getting to meet him or her in person one day. Then I have to realize that the baby could already be gone. How can I sign up for more of this mental and physical torture?</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>The amount of hormone drugs involved is terrifying. The, “What do we do now? is quite overwhelming. I can’t even imagine putting myself through this again. And when I think of adoption, I am swallowed up with excitement, but also very, very overwhelmed about the whens and wheres, etc. of all of that. For two straight days my heart would literally squeeze tears out of my eyes, I couldn’t stop them from bubbling up. My heart physically hurt. I loved and was encouraged by something my friend Kacy said in response to a friend losing her husband (which I don’t take lightly and am not comparing to my situation at all), “Today, my mom, my boys, and David (lost husband) are gazing upon the face of their sweet Savior, singing praises, and dumping out the jars of tears that they will never again have to wear on their cheeks.” Yes one day, I will get to dump out all of the tears the Lord has been catching and never wear them on my face again. Amen. I am ready for that day, as are many of us.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>It seems so strange to return back to normal life. Back to tutoring. Pulling weeds. Meeting with high schoolers. Cooking dinner for Brad and I, quickly shelving the dream for this month that 10 sticky, tomato encased fingers will be joining us for spaghetti dinner someday soon. Returning, but well aware that there is something missing that was there for a short time. And somehow God always provides the grace to move back into the groove and return to normal life. <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>He daily restores me with little nuggets of His hope through the Holy Spirit, His word, family, friends, worship, prayer, and my husband. My sweet friend Lil wrote to me, “Jesus welcomes your little tiny embryos into His arms--He knows each of them and their names-- you will know them one day and for ALL of ETERNITY, they will be your sons & daughters-- FOREVER AND EVER!” Man, do I long for my true home when I get to hold each of them in my arms AND hold them forever. My heart is encouraged deeply by her words and this truth. I cried different tears this time, tears of hope. God keeps reminding me of Psalm 145 :17. He gave me this verse in the beginning of this cycle and I have clung to it. I have always heard and studied that His plans are good for me, but have never read about His works being kind, or I just didn't take note of it. “The Lord is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works.” Kind has a different feeling to it and helps me to see His works differently as they play out in my life. Whatever happens, I have always known it was for my good, but to know it is His kindness too encourages my heart and gives me great comfort. He is being kind in allowing or not allowing. Someday I will understand when I reach heaven’s gates and see His kindness and goodness weaved throughout our story. He was being kind in not allowing this child to be ours to hold here on earth. He is righteous in all His ways. I have to keep repeating that to myself. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I can see His kindness all around us and am trusting that the future of our family will have the fingerprints of His loving kindness all over it. </span></b></div>
Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-16806472482250881792012-08-06T22:55:00.002-04:002012-08-11T18:08:40.709-04:00Transfer Successful<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"></span><br />
<div class="doc" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 4px; margin-right: 4px; margin-top: 0px; position: relative;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">I wanted to take a quick moment to note and praise God for our last transfer. Going into the procedure, my body and my heart were calm. Fearful of reentering this part of our life, yes, where I have great potential to grieve a loss, but calm. I was perfectly content not having any emotional turmoil in my life. Brad and I were in a really good place...and happy leaving the dust settled. :) I think the calm spirit was three fold. For one, I think I have grown quite accustomed to the sterile, white walls, the big over head lights, the hospital bed that tilts to a 45 degree angle, the robe that I tie in a million knots for my last attempt to maintain any modesty, and my lovely hair cap. I was so excited about the new eggplant purple blankets they have in the transfer room. They are such a beautiful contrast to the white walls. When I pointed out the new blankets to my nurse she just looked at me and said, " Okay, I think you are here a little too much." You are telling me. Secondly, I think God has done such a work in my heart and has loosened my grip on my desire to have a family. I can expound on that in a later post. And lastly, there were lots of people praying for me...I know it and I felt it.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">You may know already know this, I certainly didn't before a few yers ago, but the uterus hangs out behind the bladder. Along, with my other unusual organ structures, I have been blessed with an extra large bladder. I thought growing up that I was just highly trained by my military father to not stop for bathroom breaks on road trips. Little did I know I just had extra storage. Haha. When transferring an embryo, they have you drink 16-20 ounces of water to make the uterus lie down horizontally. I had to drink 68 ounces before my bladder was full enough to force my uterus to level out. My doctor was able to easily and quickly transfer one precious little embryo. I couldn't believe it. The dilatation surgery helped significanlty, okay and maybe the valium did too. I am still in awe of how smoothly the the whole procedure went for me. As, you all know, that is not my usual experience with transfers. After it was all said and done, I held 68 ounces of water for 2.5 hours. Like a champ. Let's just say I was glad to get up this time, instead of wanting to lie down for as long as possible, thinking, "The longer I am horizontal the more likely the embryo is to stick." I was ready!</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh43MUsjidKZ6T6FGD9Bf36cICeIB5N_IzfJ-e5ot_GCoMILzNC2soRCDMDpICJcFOeIWkyP6DZsoKUJY-TxHftAzZ0RkbzqbFErs9IiiHpVqs9gqTHVNuszPa6xA2TLoerWiqllbYrxY4/s1600/photo-17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh43MUsjidKZ6T6FGD9Bf36cICeIB5N_IzfJ-e5ot_GCoMILzNC2soRCDMDpICJcFOeIWkyP6DZsoKUJY-TxHftAzZ0RkbzqbFErs9IiiHpVqs9gqTHVNuszPa6xA2TLoerWiqllbYrxY4/s320/photo-17.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">Prepping my shot and drinking my first 20 ounces. Multitasking at its best!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">I am just so thankful for the Lord's presence that day and in recent days. We lost one embryo during the thaw. Heaven has one more angel. I can't wait to meet and hold him or her someday in heaven. </span><br />
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<div class="doc" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 4px; margin-right: 4px; margin-top: 0px; position: relative;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">We sang this in church today and my eyes welled up with tears. "Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me Let me be singing when the evening comes.'</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"> Matt Redman</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">"10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)"</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">[Chorus]</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">Bless the Lord, O my soul</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">O my soul</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">Worship His holy name</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">Sing like never before</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">O my soul</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">I'll worship Your holy name</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">It's time to sing Your song again</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">Let me be singing when the evening comes</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">[Chorus]</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">You're rich in love, and You're slow to anger</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">Your name is great, and Your heart is kind</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">For all Your goodness I will keep on singing</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">[Chorus]</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">And on that day when my strength is failing</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">The end draws near and my time has come</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">Still my soul will sing Your praise unending</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">Ten thousand years and then forevermore</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">[Chorus x2]</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">Jesus, I'll worship Your holy name</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">Lord, I'll worship Your holy name</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">Sing like never before</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">O my soul</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">I'll worship Your holy name</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">Jesus, I'll worship Your holy name</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">I'll worship Your holy name</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);"><br /></span>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">
</span>Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-65930712904497604942012-07-12T16:39:00.001-04:002012-07-12T16:39:26.784-04:00Third Time is a CharmMy surgery went well today. I am so thankful for the doctor God has given me. I have the ultimate healer on my side and an earthly doctor that is very good at what he does. I was so nervous to be put asleep again... I have lost count of how many times I have had to do that over the last few years. It can't be healthy! Ha. Putting the IV in seemed to be the hardest part... Either my veins weren't cooperating or the nurse was having an off day. Other than that, everything went great. I'm dilated and should be for several months. And praise the Lord, no scar tissue. Maybe one day this will lead to being dilated because I'm actually having a baby. Haha.
Thanks for the prayers, texts, calls and treats. We are loved so well.Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-46237271164576418722012-06-11T12:06:00.000-04:002012-06-11T12:06:47.282-04:00As Sure as Salvation<br />
<div style="background-color: transparent;">
<b id="internal-source-marker_0.5672805684152991" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I believe and trust that God will save me and am confident in my entrance into eternity. I believe in the promises made regarding my salvation. That is a HUGE thing to trust and to believe in. There is so much faith involved in what we believe God will do when He takes us from this earth. I believe the following without a shadow of a doubt because I believe God’s word is true and has been fulfilled time and time again. What makes me so quick to distrust the other promises He makes to me (to all of us) in His word? If I can trust Him with the biggest part of life, where I will spend eternity, why can’t I fully, daily trust Him with the details of my daily life here on earth?</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is what I believe to be true:</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">1) We were created to be in relationship with God. Man’s sin broke that. Eve ate the dang apple and sin entered.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">2)</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Man is SINFUL and SEPARATED from God. Therefore, he cannot know and experience God's love and plan for his life.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Sinful:</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">"All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). ALL have sinned. Not some, all.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Separated:</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">"The wages of sin is death" [spiritual separation from God] (Romans 6:23). </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">God is holy and man is sinful. A great gulf separates the two. Man is continually trying to reach God and the abundant life through his </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">own</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> efforts, such as a good life, philosophy, or religion - but he inevitably fails. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">3) Jesus Christ is God's ONLY provision for man's sin. Only through Him can we know and experience God's love and plans for us.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He Died in Our Place</span></b><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">"God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). </span></b><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16). </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> He Rose From the Dead</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">"Christ died for our sins...He was buried...He was raised on the third day, according to the Scriptures...He appeared to Peter, then to the twelve. After that He appeared to more than five hundred..." (1 Corinthians 15:3-6).</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He Is the Only Way to God</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through Me'" (John 14:6).</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">God has bridged the gulf which separates us from Him by sending His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross in our place to pay the penalty for our sins.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">4. We must individually RECEIVE Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord; then we can know and experience God's love and plan for our lives.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“…Because if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, ‘Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.’ For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For ‘everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved’” Romans 10:9-13.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We Must Receive Christ</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">"As many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name" (John 1:12)</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We Receive Christ Through Faith</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">"By grace you have been saved </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">through faith</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">; and that not of yourselves, it is the </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">gift of God</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">; </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">not as a result of works</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, that no one should boast" (Ephesians 2:8,9). How many good things would ever make me good enough? My good works would never be enough. It has to be by faith.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When We Receive Christ, We Experience a New Birth</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(Read John 3:1-8)</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We Receive Christ by Personal Invitation</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">[Christ speaking] "Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him" (Revelation 3:20).</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Receiving Christ involves turning to God from self (repentance) and trusting Christ to come into our lives to forgive our sins and to make us what He wants us to be. Just to agree intellectually that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that He died on the cross for our sins is not enough. Nor is it enough to have an emotional experience. We receive Jesus Christ by faith, as an act of the will. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">-----</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I believe it intellectually, yes, because of historical facts, fulfilled prophecy, and proven truth, but more over in my heart I believe it because I have experienced God’s faithfulness in a personal way. I have experienced “perfect peace,” after fully trusting Him with the circumstances He has placed before me (Isaiah 26:3). I have experienced His healing power when I thought my heart couldn’t possibly be put back together again. “You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth, you will bring me up again” Psalm 71:20. I have experienced God’s strength when I had nothing left in me. “Awesome is God from his sanctuary; the God of Israel--he is the one who gives POWER and STRENGTH to his people. Blessed be God” Psalm 68:35. I experienced His answers to prayer. And yet, even though time and time again He has displayed His faithfulness to me, I still struggle to fully trust. One day I can trust with my heart fully abandoned to His will and then the next day satan can slip his little hands in and steal that perfect trust from me.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I can see with each trial and each phase of our journey how my trust “roots” begin to run deeper and hold on tighter to the faithfulness God has established with me. Our faith is being refined. Maybe someday, satan won’t stand a chance against my faith. Maybe, just maybe. “In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith ---more precious than gold that perishes though it is test by fire--may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ” 1 Peter 1:6-7.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My sweet friend Melissa always reminds me, “Where there is fear and distrust, your faith is lacking.” The genuineness of my faith is being tested and refined...and I can only hope that it will result in God being glorified.</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Trust is not a passive state of mind. It is a vigorous act of the soul by which we CHOOSE to lay hold on the promises of God and cling to them despite the adversity that at times seeks to overwhelm us” You Can Trust God, Jerry Bridges. Part of starting blog is tracking His faithfulness in the details. That is one way I can actively remember how God has been faithful. I have to actively be in the word so that I know what His promises are and furthermore, be aware of the ones He has already fulfilled. When I sit back and “trust” without taking action on my part to establish my trust, the storms hit harder. </span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I loved this quote from a good friend of ours:</span><br /><div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 11pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Tahoma; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“Reminded once again today that if God were to give us the desires of our hearts, before he changes our hearts, it would ruin us. Thankful for what He gives, what He withholds, and what He takes away. It's this trust that can give me joy in the midst of the storm. He loves me, and He is good, and that is enough”- Dylan Grace.</span></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 11pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The long time quoted verse, especially in the infertility world is, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” Psalm 37:4. It took me a long time to learn that the, …”desires of my heart,” doesn’t mean getting what I want. Dylan was spot on when he said that God must first change our hearts...to be aligned with HIS. I previously missed the verses that precede and follow the one I mentioned above. The surrounding verses say, “Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">befriend faithfulness</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">,” and “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will do this. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his own way, over the man who carries out evil devices” Psalm 37:3-5, 7. After I trust in the Lord, befriend faithfulness, delight myself in Him, commit my ways to Him, be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for Him I think my “desires” might look a little different. What do you think? I’d say maybe this what active trust looks like. :)</span></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 11pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As I continue to, “ Be still before the Lord and </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">wait patiently</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> for him...” I will praise Him for all the good things He is doing in our lives. Going on four years of waiting is hard. Focusing on the things He is doing helps me wait patiently...</span></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-right: 11pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">-Thank you for the compassion you have poured in my heart for those who are also experiencing varying types pain and loss. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">-Thank you, Lord, for showing me there is more to life than the white picket fence and the All-American family. So much more.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">-Thank you for showing me that the world doesn’t revolve around me and the happenings in my life.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">-Praise you for continuing to put me in hard situations to sift out the yuck and sin in my own heart.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">-Thank you for giving me opportunities to love others above myself.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">-Thank you for the friendships you have placed in my life to encourage, love, and challenge me.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">-I am so grateful for the group of women that I wouldn’t be blessed to know unless I had walked this road, the Common Thread ladies. I have so many role models and big hearts in front of me. Thank you for showing that you care and affirming your love for me by sending these women.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">-I can’t say enough about the good you are doing in our marriage.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #222222; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">-And thank you, Lord, for the amazing things you are doing in Brad. I can’t tell you how much fun it is to watch you mold and shape him into a strong leader. I love him so much more today, than yesterday. Thank you for your faithfulness in that.</span></div>
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</div>Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-24678948803785157532012-05-23T22:00:00.002-04:002012-05-23T22:00:49.462-04:00A Few of My Favorite Things About Summer...Yesterday I got to experience some of my favorite things... and all of them are the sweet taste of the beginning of summer. I turned my Pandora station to Jason Aldean, right after I wrapped up a tutoring session and got to work on cutting one of the sweetest, most yummy watermelons yet. AND I only paid $2.75 for it, so that's a bonus (a treasure from my new favorite produce "stand"). Yum!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirprKtWBxhqYWUfRfReDHpGuI90z0CM8puYQRCbyuKGSjVFDOeeVQTsSbT4n6GSc3W5OVs8coo-F7UgprnJCtc5ehWvhkWlMyo7AR5Fcf-WZmRHrlTcx9ts9BzAwGgSlf3mUrn-J5pEyA/s1600/watermelon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirprKtWBxhqYWUfRfReDHpGuI90z0CM8puYQRCbyuKGSjVFDOeeVQTsSbT4n6GSc3W5OVs8coo-F7UgprnJCtc5ehWvhkWlMyo7AR5Fcf-WZmRHrlTcx9ts9BzAwGgSlf3mUrn-J5pEyA/s320/watermelon.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
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#1 Now, can't you just taste summer when you look at this watermelon?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9v81f3_dMsKLmBNOSI3nmR2ev5n4CZuZUxaRftmrTQspO0l8h6YoKt9Y34rdQHJb3Rn8p87s4GzjFPEeFY1DMHpzTGtXc7X8nAY-cIa1j0tSE_n7L9ckP9BCVoF_O2fIW-9xloqtW08w/s1600/hyd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9v81f3_dMsKLmBNOSI3nmR2ev5n4CZuZUxaRftmrTQspO0l8h6YoKt9Y34rdQHJb3Rn8p87s4GzjFPEeFY1DMHpzTGtXc7X8nAY-cIa1j0tSE_n7L9ckP9BCVoF_O2fIW-9xloqtW08w/s320/hyd.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
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#2 Fresh cut hydrangeas from the back yard. They pretty much make my heart smile. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidNcIxrzbB8J7rpmpjmPSDiMu2Wm90pxZ7exrcdhR4QQhtWI6Pxv-DgLnILoILipFqpE4IaDkD9NjRXTkIr3NC3rlhQVNEPK3fH7KP2dNq0S13oTex9zX8q2_leeG9SPXSpYPNV5jWCYw/s1600/maters.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidNcIxrzbB8J7rpmpjmPSDiMu2Wm90pxZ7exrcdhR4QQhtWI6Pxv-DgLnILoILipFqpE4IaDkD9NjRXTkIr3NC3rlhQVNEPK3fH7KP2dNq0S13oTex9zX8q2_leeG9SPXSpYPNV5jWCYw/s320/maters.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
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#3 Home grown heirloom maters. Divine!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQT3E6IjpYKFnUTDmSNaStZLR5hIdvlF6UcdtkdRZUmVXX5w7OHMvNK6qyxr-LSB5yRnN4WLVy4wWNOfbG7iKOKfc1hIthqDa9gVLtAnO1g8frWPNhcIS4imYKFiwm023zk5m1MgH3HYM/s1600/guac.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQT3E6IjpYKFnUTDmSNaStZLR5hIdvlF6UcdtkdRZUmVXX5w7OHMvNK6qyxr-LSB5yRnN4WLVy4wWNOfbG7iKOKfc1hIthqDa9gVLtAnO1g8frWPNhcIS4imYKFiwm023zk5m1MgH3HYM/s320/guac.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
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#4 Homemade guac using things grown in the back yard. If you plant a jalepeno</div>
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plant, you are forced to make guac at least 2 times a week. I highly recommend it.</div>
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#5 Catching Blue Claw Crabs off the dock.</div>
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#6 Having friends to catch and eat the crabs with at 10 pm. :)</div>
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I do realize that four of the six items are food...I swear they are all linked back to an actual hobby of mine or Brad's. :) Watermelon...finding fun, local places to shop. Hydrangeas...plants and yard stuff. Maters...gardening. Guac...more gardening. Crabs...fishing. Friends...well they are also a hobby of mine. I like people, just a little. :)</div>
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Just a fun, light-hearted post. Maybe some deep thinking will occur as I am stuffing my face with all this summer yumminess. Now if only my basil and parsley would kick it into gear so I can make pesto and tabouleh!Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-49485569264447280422012-05-02T15:37:00.000-04:002012-05-02T15:50:43.058-04:00Hamster Wheel<br />
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<b id="internal-source-marker_0.2880160538479686" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Well I am back from my unannounced blog sabbatical. I took a break for some personal reasons, but have felt the Lord encouraging me to get back on here the last few months. I want to make sure I keep a record of all the little things God is doing so I don't lose sight of Him being at work in our lives. And I also want to someday be able to share this journey with our children so they will know just how badly we wanted them. So here I am. I'll try and give you a quick past 10 months as best as I can. I'll spare you too many boring details, which might be easy considering I have blocked a lot of it out.</span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span><br /><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">After our summer break, we were refreshed and ready to attempt another embryo transfer. We completed the first half of the medications for a frozen cycle and had a transfer scheduled for September 12, 2011. Much to our great disappointment the transfer was unsuccessful because something had grown in my cervix. Our doctor could not get into my uterus to transfer the embryo. They scheduled me for an MRI and discovered I had some scar tissue that had moved in and grown in my cervix (we believe from previous procedures and added hormone drugs). I was then scheduled for a Hysto-something-something-scope to remove the scar tissue. On September 29, 2011, I had successful surgery and they were able to remove the scar tissue. We started the meds to do a frozen transfer in October, but due to the anesthesia from surgery, my body did not cooperate. We were later able to have a successful embryo transfer in December. I was sure I was pregnant this time. I was nauseated and so excited for every bit of nausea. I wanted sooo badly to be greener than green! However, two days after Christmas we learned that the embryo did not take. We were once again devastated. </span></b></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was so thankful for God’s grace in allowing my family to be here during that time. My cousins made me laugh tons, like they always do. It was comforting to have my parents here and to top it off I had one of the best weeks ever with my brother. The timing of their trip made me feel the Lord’s presence. It was no for now, but He cared enough to send the people I love to get us through the hardest part. </span></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"></b></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The beginning of this month we started another “fresh” IVF cycle where I was stimulated to grow more eggs so that we could give one last go at another batch of embryos. I was given less medicine this time and the Lord graciously provided 11 embryos. We had one embryo put in on April 16th. The doctor barely got him in because the scar tissue made a reappearance. The transfer almost did not happen, but he was very patient and tried several times until he did get in. Everyone in the room said a great big, "Alleluia!"</span></b></span></div>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre-wrap;">Meet "Speck" as my mom called him. The little plus sign is right next to our lil' embryo.</span></b></div>
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</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It is so hard not to get attached to each and every embryo. A life, that is a piece of both of us, put inside of me...how can I not hope that we will get to meet that little babe on this side of heaven? So when we don’t get that chance, it hurts. It hurts deeply. I had big hopes that we would get to meet this one. I wondered what he or she would look like. I dreamt about what his or her personality would be like. I have to believe each time that the Lord could bring our baby to full term or what would be the point of doing this in the first place? If I don’t believe He could, what would be the point in pursuing IVF? But each time, even though we want what the Lord wants and would never want </span></b></span><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">something outside of His will, the disappointment still cuts deep. </span></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><div dir="ltr" style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;">
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We found out on April 26th that the embryo did not take. Again my hopes were dashed. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ0gtmhIIlJNpB3hyphenhyphenSfI3cx7OeWoiNKpQUgwZUadg7GFtJiwUCnl7mvIHn9nchsc9ZEJYsMsoFD1nFokZtPI7yQM3FKPVMF67qYQ2ZmZj5Op3f0RrU6lZ-_yhtmE2syExrtvllqzTGYJ8/s1600/syringes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ0gtmhIIlJNpB3hyphenhyphenSfI3cx7OeWoiNKpQUgwZUadg7GFtJiwUCnl7mvIHn9nchsc9ZEJYsMsoFD1nFokZtPI7yQM3FKPVMF67qYQ2ZmZj5Op3f0RrU6lZ-_yhtmE2syExrtvllqzTGYJ8/s320/syringes.jpg" width="320" /></a><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: x-small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="font-size: x-small; white-space: pre;"> </span>We have heard time and time again, “Oh well, at least you can keep trying your other embryos.” While it can be encouraging, there is so much that goes into trying each embryo physically, let alone emotionally.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I wanted to document what we are left with at the end of each round. (Picture above, I could not get it to shift down) We are left with a whole lot of empty medicine bottles, syringes, and injection welts. I am not sharing this photo for an ounce of pity, but to help people understand why each attempt is so daunting, scary, physically challenging, and emotionally exhausting. </span></span></b><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Each prick takes a huge toll on my body. My general practice doctor says I take in enough hormones to get one woman through 5 years of menopause. So needless to say, yes we are thankful that we do have the opportunity that we have, however, it is extremely physically, mentally, and emotionally demanding. Each attempt is not taken lightly and we have to pray our way through making sure it is the Lord’s timing … and that I am emotionally and physically ready to give it another go. Right now I am not sure when that will be. I feel like an empty, worn out rag doll and am need of some major restoration before that is an option. </span></span></b><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What I wouldn't give just be intimate with my husband and find myself pregnant. I know I would too if I had not walked this road, but so many take this for granted. </span></span></b></div>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I also want my future children to see just how much they were desired. Even if we do not have biological children, each syringe is one step closer to the family God has already picked out for us. :)</span></span></b></div>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Right now I am just putting one foot in front of the other and having to work hard at fighting off satan’s lies. This is the verse I am choosing to focus on right now:</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Romans 8:28</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”</span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">We have all heard it a million times, but I can't let this scripture be watered down. It's all we have to cling to for hope. All of this is for our good...whether it appears that way now or not, it is. And it is for His purpose, not ours. I am exhausted from the hamster wheel of hope and grief. Hope then more grief. I know that God will be faithful to restore my joy and to help me see that He is at work. I will continue to hope in Him and am thankful that while my circumstances are changing, He never will. “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.” Isaiah 40:31. </span></span></b></div>
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<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here is what I am praying for myself and lots of others in my life:</span></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">"</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;">And</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;">after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;">who has called you to his</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;">eternal glory in Christ, will himself</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;">restore, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #363030; line-height: 18px;">confirm, strengthen, and establish you." 1 Peter 5:10 Praying that He would restore and strengthen this little heart of mine.</span></span></div>
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</div>Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-34353099285765348122011-06-25T12:40:00.000-04:002011-06-25T12:40:56.751-04:00Didn't Pack the TissuesI have been meaning to get on here and write since Father's Day, but I just haven't had the chance. I wanted to share something that totally caught me off guard (specifically, for my fellow infertile friends). Last Sunday, which as you know was Father's Day, I had an unexpected cry fest at church. We all know that I was so geared up to cry on Mother's Day that we didn't go to church at all. But honestly it didn't even cross my mind once that this day might be hard for me.<br />
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We sit down and they open the service after a few worship songs, then they proceed to have a gentleman from our church perform a song he had written about children growing up. And before I knew it, my face was flush and the tears were rolling on out. I was trying to find a way to hide behind Brad's shoulder, but it wasn't quite working out. The lyrics went something like this, "I look at all your childhood pictures and wonder where the time has gone." "You are all grown now and getting married..." Etc. you can fill in the words for the rest of the song. I lost it! We aren't watching anyone grow up. He sang about watching your child walk away the first day of kindergarten. I was sobbing because I want to be watching a child walk away to his or her first day of school. I thought everyone was assuming I had recently lost my dad or something, because I was that pitiful looking. Brad leaned over after the song was over and said, "Geesh, I thought Father's Day was going to be easy!" Well me too, darn it! I didn't pack any tissues.<br />
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The song reminded me of the quote someone recently shared through Common Thread from Laura Bush. "The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence. For the loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, child or friend, we have all manner of words and phrases, some helpful some not. Still we are conditioned to say something, even if it is only “I’m sorry for your loss.” But for an absence, for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?" The song was hard not because I am experiencing the things he sang about, but because I was mourning their absence.<br />
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I think I was also sad for Brad. Although, I don't think he needed me to be sad for him, because I don't think he was sad. I know he will make an incredible father and I just hope he has the opportunity to experience the words of that song one day. Sometimes I do feel ridiculous being so sad about something that doesn't even exist, but I guess that is exactly why I am sad...because I want that story for our lives. I want to experience all the words of that song. I want to shed tears when they leave for school and go off and get married. But for now, I'll keep shedding tears over the empty rooms waiting to be filled with little feet to leave us with. Thank you Laura Bush for putting it into words for me. <br />
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We had a lovely afternoon over lunch celebrating Brad's dad. I did get to talk to my dad on the phone, but I wish I could have been there with him to celebrate him too. It is tough living so far from family. We were blessed with wonderful fathers and are very thankful for them. Seriously, we are so blessed!<div><br />
</div><div>I have a new distraction these days. I started a small tutoring business, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thrive</span> Tutoring. My subject focuses are math, science, and writing for various grade levels. I LOVE it! It has been a real joy to watch my first student "get" pre-algebra and actually like it, I think. I am loving getting to know him and beginning to understand the way that he learns. Brad says I secretly enjoy doing the math problems just for fun...and well, he's right. I am a nerd. I am looking for more clients. If you know a student in need of a tutor, send me an email or leave a comment. I would greatly appreciate it. </div><div><br />
</div><div>The Lord totally dropped this tutoring thing in my lap and I am so grateful. I guess He knew just how much I would love it...and that it was just what I needed. </div><div><br />
</div><div>I hope you all are having a fantastic summer. Overall Brad and I are doing great. We have a busy summer ahead filled with weddings, the lake, and weekend trips. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Love to you all!</div><div><br />
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</div><div>Side note to CFC people: I know the man who sang that song Sunday said a <i>good-bye</i> and praise the Lord,<i> </i>a<i> welcome home </i>that I hope to never experience. I am sensitive to that. I know that having a child at war is something I would never understand unless I went through it. Lord willing, I hope to never have to shed those tears. But who knows what may come. Knowing part of his story, I just didn't want anyone to be offended that I longed to shed the tears of watching your children grow up over not having them at all. I know that song means more to him than it could ever mean to any of us. </div>Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-44894118552045343862011-05-28T09:26:00.000-04:002011-05-28T09:26:05.653-04:00Finally...My Verigated Ginger BloomedI have not once seen my ginger plants bloom in the three years that they have been planted out front. I almost thought I had a different "version" of ginger than everyone else. But the good Lord finally let my little ginger plants sprout the most unique looking flowers around. And they smell yummy too.<br />
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You might be asking, "What does a ginger plant blooming have to do with infertility?" I could find something super spiritual to say like, "Maybe this means the Lord will allow my womb to blossom after 3 years of waiting." But really, there is only one correlation...I am Fearfully and Wonderfully Made and I love plants. haha. They make me very happy. I know that not only makes me, "fearfully and wonderfully made," but sort of like an old lady trapped in my almost 27 year old body. Or at least that is what my friends tell me. And this is where God has me, in the waiting ... enjoying some of my hobbies and I am making an attempt to make the most of it!Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-49345846635299371872011-05-26T21:58:00.000-04:002011-05-26T21:58:02.471-04:00Too Many Goodbyes...<!--StartFragment--> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span> </div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I had one too many goodbyes this week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>blessed enough to see the Valiquette clan one last time before they leave for Italy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We loved seeing them and hated saying goodbye as they begin their journey back to Italy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course we say goodbye though with much excitement for how God is going to use them over there. We love you guys very much and are always in awe of how much comfort and security you are willing to sacrifice to serve our Lord. You are an inspiration to both of us. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"> <o:p></o:p>And then I also had to say goodbye to my high school small group girls.<span> </span>I know they will still (most of them) be here this summer and I know I will see them again, but it was still so hard to watch them stand at the front of the room and receive their send off.<span> </span>I have poured so much of myself into them.<span> </span>And they have impacted me even more than I have impacted them.<span> </span>They have taught me so much.<span> </span>I’m just not ready for them to go!<span> </span>They have become like children to me and dear friends as well.<span> </span>I am so nervous and excited for them all in one bundled package of emotions.<span> </span>I look at them and think, “I can’t believe my parents let me move to Orlando to go to UCF when I was their age.<span> </span>They are so little!”<span> </span>Haha.<span> </span>I just wish I could keep them here with me forever.</div><div><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I love you girls and am so proud of all of you.<span> I will miss seeing your beautiful smiles and goofy faces. I cherish each and every one of you. I love you!! Thank you for letting me be a part of your life.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span> <!--StartFragment--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">“If you are not firm in faith you will not be firm at all.” Isaiah 7:9b</span><!--EndFragment--> </span></div><br />
<!--EndFragment-->Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-74178656569122513632011-05-08T21:57:00.000-04:002011-05-08T21:57:13.476-04:00Happy Mother's Day!Today we celebrate our two beautiful mothers and what they mean to us. We are pretty darn blessed with momma's that love us so deeply. We are very thankful for them. They both have set the bar pretty high! <br />
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We are also thankful we were able to escape this weekend and spend some time with special friends who knew the heartache of this day as well. We created a little staycation at the Harby home while they were out of town this weekend. We referred to it as Hotel Del Harby most of the time. It was so fantastic to enjoy the sun, river, and pool on such a beautiful weekend. We did a lot of eating, chilling, sunset watching, tennis ball throwing (Lt would try and coax every guest to make this his or her sole purpose in life), and hanging out. It was good for the soul. I am thankful they were willing to spend the weekend with us. And we are thankful the Harby's were gracious enough to allow us to take over their house while they were gone.<br />
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Thank you to all our sweet friends who remembered our hearts today. Your encouraging words meant the world to us and we feel blessed to know that we have such great friends who care about us so much.<br />
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Happy Mother's Day!Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-89288979537520772132011-04-30T14:40:00.000-04:002011-04-30T14:40:36.433-04:00Throwing in the TowelHey friends! It has been a while since I have given an update. Truth is, there isn't much of an update. I told myself that I wouldn't think about or talk about where Brad and I should go from here for a month. That gave me time to just be and to also let Brad process a little more. My mom, aunt, and cousin came to visit last week and their leaving marked a month from our second miscarriage. I was so sad when they left, one, because I love and miss them terribly and two, because that meant my month was up and I was back to having to think again. My hall pass ran up. It was a really hard weekend for me. <br />
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Anywho, I really just feel like I am treading water these days. I am enjoying being Brad's wife and doing the things I enjoy around our home and around town. I stay incredibly busy and have a significant amount of freedom to fill my calendar with the things I love to do. I am trying to soak up every second of that. However, I am still left wondering, "What's next?" when I let my mind wander off from my to do list.<br />
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I told God a few days ago that I was, "Throwing in the towel." Which He has probably been waiting for me to do since this whole thing started 2 years ago. I really have nothing to offer up. I can't research anything anymore hoping to come up with the perfect answer to "fixing" our infertility situation. I don't feel physically or emotionally ready to give our other two embryos a chance yet. I would LOVE to adopt, but I am still praying for God to align our hearts. There is nothing I can do. I have known this all along, but reality has set in. <br />
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This sounds silly, but I hear the way Brad talks and plays with the dog and I think..."He is going to be such a great dad and I can't wait to hear him do that with our children someday." I want to hear giggles coming from the other rooms in our house. I want to have a Saturday filled with baseball games and popsicles. The list could go on. I just desire to have a family. I feel very ready for that. <br />
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One of my least favorite holidays is lurking around the corner. If you think of it, please stop and pray for those who may not be experiencing the joy of Mother's Day. I think of the women who have lost their mothers, don't know their mothers, lost a child, have been led to childlessness through singleness, and all the women who deeply desire to be recognized on this day, but are left empty handed. I am very thankful for my mom and Brad's mom and celebrate them on this holiday, but will definitely be hiding out this year. <br />
Thankfully, the The Players won't be stealing Brad away from me on this day this year.<br />
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Love and hugs to all of you. :)Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-62548999502080845192011-04-08T09:29:00.002-04:002011-04-08T09:34:36.910-04:00My Two Men.I wanted to do a special post to the two special men in my life. Everyone keeps asking how Brad is doing and my response is, "He hasn't really had time to figure out how he is doing because he is too busy taking care of me!" I don't know how I would have made it through this time without these two. Brad even became a full time nurse for a few months there. Most Saturdays he had to give up precious sleep time to make sure I had my shot before 9 am. And we know how much that boy loves his sleep. He did a whole lot more than give me shots. He kept me sane. A few days I got away from him in that department, ha, but he knew all he could do on those days is hold me. And he did just that. I love you, Brad. I am so thankful for you and so thankful for the MAN God has grown you to be in this process. (He is hating this public affirmation, but I think he deserves it.) <br />
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As for my other man...Mr. LT Harby. Some say I shouldn't love this dog so much. You know who you are :). But I really can't help it. First off, he is so stinkin' handsome, I just can't help myself. And secondly, he is just awesome. It is true that I thank the Lord for him all the time. He has truly been a gift to our family. He has caught many tears and shared in a million snuggle parties when I just needed someone to hug. Or hug me. He has brought so much joy and laughter to our home. Love you, Tweezle Dee.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqr-oMM_tXC5HLFyaGcboZdjSKmRLFawXtg4K1yZd05MfRCVZ66uuDe2fjtpn5enaEO042vfYvKDSq4fbFCLOXwPqxMiGAqHwyWqXDiVDCPTXAm05Pr56Xuvr8X2xOUHWVT6hbP-wxHUQ/s1600/IMG_0053.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqr-oMM_tXC5HLFyaGcboZdjSKmRLFawXtg4K1yZd05MfRCVZ66uuDe2fjtpn5enaEO042vfYvKDSq4fbFCLOXwPqxMiGAqHwyWqXDiVDCPTXAm05Pr56Xuvr8X2xOUHWVT6hbP-wxHUQ/s320/IMG_0053.JPG" width="239" /></a></div> My Handsome Husband<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj82uqbAEEQbZIe7LCminLCkSCg-aZaMR1mU9BkyVynEpTKF3s3-of5pDpEq2BHmzPh5G9l5Qn6iW6c1hPhD_6NB51vucvDHju5vkVLOqjYLyBHFzgTbprOx8iWHade-sntmKWpjwyTN60/s1600/IMG_0402.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj82uqbAEEQbZIe7LCminLCkSCg-aZaMR1mU9BkyVynEpTKF3s3-of5pDpEq2BHmzPh5G9l5Qn6iW6c1hPhD_6NB51vucvDHju5vkVLOqjYLyBHFzgTbprOx8iWHade-sntmKWpjwyTN60/s320/IMG_0402.JPG" width="239" /></a></div> I don't know how I get anything done around here with that face staring back at me.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY7__eOSnuzT5fI-jtMXiKho-qtCHZ8cAppK8MeOI0Mw6ks-2FVZqq6jDH3jwPC1HkRApEFFaUIAx-p990ktGgltalC2quguQFZqQnjZ0dV1_408XlaEWMY4EM1zSyLp_ywhZVQbIOpaI/s1600/IMG_0518.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY7__eOSnuzT5fI-jtMXiKho-qtCHZ8cAppK8MeOI0Mw6ks-2FVZqq6jDH3jwPC1HkRApEFFaUIAx-p990ktGgltalC2quguQFZqQnjZ0dV1_408XlaEWMY4EM1zSyLp_ywhZVQbIOpaI/s320/IMG_0518.JPG" width="239" /></a></div> LT still doesn't know he isn't a lap dog.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGuEd8UWoQ0AABfzwfwHy03uvRCJDpQxYlVWC3viLLEo_1TNfikC1wrMAjWD0bWZd4o3Ebq-xTjjewmM4vVcGN0CWSoqzzotYJRYilLxlrjadcZQUsUDjQnylQm56L0wXVbJRkEPgmOIU/s1600/IMG_0546.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGuEd8UWoQ0AABfzwfwHy03uvRCJDpQxYlVWC3viLLEo_1TNfikC1wrMAjWD0bWZd4o3Ebq-xTjjewmM4vVcGN0CWSoqzzotYJRYilLxlrjadcZQUsUDjQnylQm56L0wXVbJRkEPgmOIU/s320/IMG_0546.JPG" width="320" /></a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> Like I said, he has brought us lots of laughter. I tell him his face will get stuck like that if he </div> keeps sticking his tongue out at me.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEegPAlQECuHoN1ZbN0zRuTSm__UaYUl2X4KmtRFvVi5jaLHFh8jdrO-2sWaQghw9ctJkBARkChXchKgl6bl7boTPtFXDu0W6UpkTshnOQt4vYfUVF1HT-5zNSTX9WloUFwBQ3oUxICOI/s1600/IMG_0526.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEegPAlQECuHoN1ZbN0zRuTSm__UaYUl2X4KmtRFvVi5jaLHFh8jdrO-2sWaQghw9ctJkBARkChXchKgl6bl7boTPtFXDu0W6UpkTshnOQt4vYfUVF1HT-5zNSTX9WloUFwBQ3oUxICOI/s320/IMG_0526.JPG" width="239" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEegPAlQECuHoN1ZbN0zRuTSm__UaYUl2X4KmtRFvVi5jaLHFh8jdrO-2sWaQghw9ctJkBARkChXchKgl6bl7boTPtFXDu0W6UpkTshnOQt4vYfUVF1HT-5zNSTX9WloUFwBQ3oUxICOI/s1600/IMG_0526.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a>He has even won my dad over. Big accomplishment. He got a ginormous tennis ball from Gpa.</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoHafGt-QytY3z4HSoXDhRwx7xvwZAcU6Ss-huv5zL3Z3yZFIRBZoSZ3FeioGuLK8DtlHmEyhtnqvn1mL7CYmYtIWFXMHnN6zyUs3e8o27DdAdK1ygpMeNiCLQVMscOctChn2bDUvCEIg/s1600/IMG_0635.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoHafGt-QytY3z4HSoXDhRwx7xvwZAcU6Ss-huv5zL3Z3yZFIRBZoSZ3FeioGuLK8DtlHmEyhtnqvn1mL7CYmYtIWFXMHnN6zyUs3e8o27DdAdK1ygpMeNiCLQVMscOctChn2bDUvCEIg/s320/IMG_0635.JPG" width="320" /></a></div> Road trips are one of our favorites.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPNMzGa42IBbQ5EFnRreKwbYSRCGQOZ3U-mfam9Q29CI_4PmvSlXQai3HOKfx45m-1aDh3NIZjNifGm6Ys2IK706PwbAnU06_EEM0Szb9atLe97o7wNYBEQVRIsTUJCP8r5pmf8yBpdZ4/s1600/IMG_0587.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPNMzGa42IBbQ5EFnRreKwbYSRCGQOZ3U-mfam9Q29CI_4PmvSlXQai3HOKfx45m-1aDh3NIZjNifGm6Ys2IK706PwbAnU06_EEM0Szb9atLe97o7wNYBEQVRIsTUJCP8r5pmf8yBpdZ4/s320/IMG_0587.JPG" width="239" /></a></div> A special invitation to the couch for a snuggle party.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIHtw-zLaxaajmB6ScyRavTIfa-Jwe45P_Q_unk3QV4FyWK9dGMLSGkvTrndFq_o4kyCDOhx4r4OLO3RVVTieeg8O8pkikRo8icx8Kt_ARgo893__vLjH-7wduEbD1OnDE7RJm0Y8Z9JA/s1600/IMG_0585.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIHtw-zLaxaajmB6ScyRavTIfa-Jwe45P_Q_unk3QV4FyWK9dGMLSGkvTrndFq_o4kyCDOhx4r4OLO3RVVTieeg8O8pkikRo8icx8Kt_ARgo893__vLjH-7wduEbD1OnDE7RJm0Y8Z9JA/s320/IMG_0585.JPG" width="239" /></a></div> This was taken after the first no. What a friend. :) Keeping me company and licking up tears.<br />
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Love you two and very thankful for both of you. :)Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-16479012779067978522011-04-03T21:34:00.002-04:002011-04-04T11:51:44.543-04:00An Attempt to Digest the No...<div class="MsoNormal">Sorry it has taken me so long to get on here and give you all an update. As you may have heard or guessed, we didn’t get the answer we had prayed for this time around. Hearing that our embryo didn’t make it again knocked me flat on my butt. I didn’t have the emotional energy to try and put any sort of anything into words and I am pretty sure I would regret a lot of the things I would have said two weeks ago.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I took this miscarriage a lot harder than the last. I think I knew last time we would try again if it didn’t work. This time, I knew I would be sent spiraling back into the pit of waiting. “No,” seemed so open ended and hopeless to me. Do we move on to adoption and allow God to grow our family that way? Although, I know my heart gets excited about that idea (not that I have or ever will let go of the dream of carrying my own child), I have no idea if and when God will allow that for our family. I KNOW I need a huge break from all this IVF stuff. I am flat emotionally and physically wiped! So here we are again back to this place I hoped not to return to again.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I have spent a lot of time swimming in anger over the last few weeks. Let’s just say I don’t understand a few things. I have a friend facing infertility that after reading Psalm 127:3 "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward,” asked where she had gone wrong to not receive the reward. This was my response, “Hey there. These aren't unfamiliar thoughts to me. I must have done something wrong since I am not receiving the reward. A few women in my life have helped me check this thought... Instead of, "Why me?" ask, "Why not me?" I don't say that easily and most days I cant even utter those words... But what is God DOING? How is He using you to bring glory to His name? He has chosen me for this path, and it wasn't an oopsie daisy, He is well aware of your testimony. I had a dear friend (who is 20 years into the journey) say that she sees it as a calling. God knew she had the strength to love children that were not from her womb. He chose her to love the fatherless. That really spoke to me. It's all in how we look at it... Is He witholding or is He holding out His hand with an incredible treasure that He has picked out for only you and your husband? Trust me, I have your same questions, but in order to carry on I have to <i>Put On</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> truth and hope. I have to hope that God has an incredible thing up His sleeve. All the women I know who are further along in their journeys would tell us that He does have a great reward for us too... But it just might not look like the reward we were expecting. I hope this brings you hope. Not down playing your feelings. I carry those in the corner of my heart too. I just can't let Satan take any opportunity to turn God's story into his story.” Ha, that is what is so HARD about this journey. One day it is easy to say all these things and then you are forced to live in it. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I had to ask that same question. Where did I go wrong, Lord? Why do all these people I know get to sleep around, live a life that is not honoring to you and still receive your reward. I know there are several lies and issues in this thought, and I will get to that, but it is extremely hard to not ask that question. Why do the women who could care less about carrying a child, complain the whole pregnancy or are too high to even feel the baby kick, get to have the incredible experience of carrying a child?? Why do they deserve that experience? Why do all the people who don't really care about children have the opportunity to have a whole van full?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I realize there are several lies weaved through all of these thoughts. If God were a God of reward and handed out deserved punishment, I would be going to hell. Blunt, I know, but true. I wouldn’t deserve a single blessing from Him. I know that I am saved by the GRACE of God, not by anything I did or didn’t do. It is a free gift. I could never be “good” enough for a Holy and Perfect God. “For by grace you have been saved through <b>faith</b><span style="font-weight: normal;">. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast,” Ephesians 28-9. “But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace,” Romans 11:6. I know that His grace should be sufficient for me (2 Corn. 12:9). That should be enough for me. I don’t deserve anything more than what He has already given me in and through salvation. I clearly see that I have a false understanding of self to think I am better than the women I deem unfit to be mothers. I also know that God isn’t withholding in the way that we define withholding. I have to trust that He isn’t refraining from answering our prayers out of punishment, but but because His answer is different and better than mine. I have been encouraged this week that He has a greater reward for us and He isn’t withholding a child because he doesn’t think we are good enough. I also know from scripture that the women God made “wait” had huge rewards through whom their children became and the role they play in the Lord’s great novel. Sarah with Isaac, Rebekah with Jacob and Esau, Rachel with Joseph and Benjamin, Hannah with Samuel, Elisabeth with John the Baptist... just to name a few examples. I am not naming myself as the bearer of the next promise child, trust me! But I have to trust that the Lord is not wasting my pain in barrenness. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I know those are a few of the lies that I have to battle daily, amongst others. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Currently, we are taking a break from fertility treatments. We need time to regroup, refocus, rejuvenate…and so on. I am re-grieving the possibility that we may not have biological children. Not giving up hope, but realizing again that God may have something else for us. I am ready to mother and have a family, so I am having to let go of my ideas all over again and let the Lord lead us in what He has for our family. I’d started to believe again that we may get a little Brad and Sharlie through IVF. I am not saying He still can’t choose to do that, but I also feel like we need to be realistic and seek out other options while seeking a biological children also. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Thank you for the prayers over the youth retreat last weekend. While I wasn’t 100% myself, I did feel sustained and thoroughly enjoyed my time with my girls. They make me laugh and allow me to escape into another world. Some of you may be asking why the world of a teenager would qualify as an escape, haha. But it is a much more simple place. Interestingly enough the lessons for the students that weekend were exactly what I needed to hear. We spent the weekend studying the UNSHAKABLE faith of Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Their faith was the same and they knew who their God was no matter their circumstances. In short, when they (the Jews) were exiled in Babylon, they were required to worship the Gods of King Nebuchadnezzar. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were reported for not worshipping the king’s golden images. The king ordered for them to burned in a fiery furnace. They answered, “If this be so, the God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. <b><i>But if no</i></b><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the gold image you have set up,” Daniel 3:17-18. They knew their God had the power and ability to deliver them from the fire, but they also knew He could choose not to and if he didn’t they still vowed to remain true to who their God was and their faith. This really hit home with me. They were being thrown into a FIREY pit and were offered the chance to escape, but Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego chose to still remain faithful and trust God, EVEN if His answer was no. Faithful, even if He chose to leave them to burn for choosing to worship Him in opposition. Am I going to remain faithful even when G</span>od responds with no? If He responds with no, will I still bow down and worship Him? I was really challenged by their faithfulness and encouraged to press on. Challenged to trust that He can deliver us from infertility, but if not, to continue in faithfulness and refuse to worship another. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">As you may know, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were rescued from the fire. “Then Nebuchadnezzar came near to the door of the burning fiery furnace; he declared, ‘Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out, and come here.’ Then Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego came out from the fire. And the satraps, the prefects, the governors, and the king’s counselors gathered together and saw that the fire had not had any power over the bodies of those men. The hair of their heads was not singed, their cloaks were not harmed, and no smell of fire had come upon them,” Daniel 3:26-27. AND because of what the Lord did, the king responded, “ ‘Therefore I make a decree: Any people, nation, or language that speaks anything against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego shall be torn limb from limb, and their houses laid in ruins, for there is no other god who is able to rescue in this way.’ Then the king promoted Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the province of Babylon,” Daniel 3: 29-30. Here is hoping that our story brings God glory in the same way that Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego did. Of course that requires being faithful no matter what our circumstances.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I love that I went to the retreat last weekend with the intentions to serve and God used it to serve and encourage ME! Thank you again for your prayers over the retreat weekend. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So where do we go from here? That is the question we are asking right now. We are not sure what’s next for our family. Just taking it day by day, attempting to refocus on why we are really here. Brad and I are here to live lives that bring glory and honor to Jesus Christ and to share His free gift with others. We are prayerfully seeking what He has for us in that area and in our family's future. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">If you could join us in praying for our next steps, we would greatly appreciate it. Specifically, I am starting to feel the weight of our friends heading into round two of babies. I feel like I am sinking even deeper into the pit of childlessness as everyone else’s family continues to expand. Pray that I would be able to enjoy these miracles as well. And the baby boom of 2010 has created a boom of 1st birthday parties. I really don't want to miss those moments in their lives, but I also know how hard it is on my heart. And I never want to be the stealer of joy...I think I need wisdom on knowing when to attend and when to step back. Please pray that we wouldn’t let satan get a foot hold in our marriage or in our relationships with the Lord using his crafty little lies. I pray that I would be sustained and filled with joy and hope for what He DOES have for us. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Love and thanks to you all. Your support and prayers have been felt. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-82374345249715078922011-03-24T10:41:00.000-04:002011-03-24T10:41:56.328-04:00It's a No.Hi all. Sorry I have not been on to post. Some of you may have heard already that we got another, "No." I wanted to give you a quick update. We are deeply disappointed and grieving our losses. Feeling more encouraged as the days go on. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. I am headed out of town for a youth retreat. Please pray for sustainment and emotional energy to serve them. They are a joy and bless me greatly, but I am a little nervous that I have not much in me to give to them.<br />
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I will post as soon as I can with more details. Thanks again for the prayers.Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-70287547626654467812011-03-08T21:23:00.000-05:002011-03-08T21:23:55.130-05:00Precious CargoWe successfully had a frozen embryo transfered yesterday. They didn't get us in until about 3:30 pm even though my appointment was at 1:45 pm. I think they were a little behind. ha. They never are, so we didn't mind at all except for the fact that my bladder was about to BURST! When you go in for a transfer they have you drink 16 ounces of water an hour before your appointment. A full bladder forces your uterus to lie flat. Last time, if you remember, I had to drink 48 ounces of water to make my uterus lie down. SO this time, I drank 24 ounces an hour before my appointment, just to be one step ahead. Needless to say, 2 hours and 45 minutes later...I couldn't wait any longer. They eventually got me in and we are very thankful that our embryo thawed well and was ready for the transfer. There is some risk that it won't survive the thaw and we aren't taking the fact that it made it through that phase for granted. Miracle #8 in the process.<br />
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The procedure went great. The doctor and nurse staff were especially chatty, so it wasn't uncomfortable at all. Who thought you could sort of have a good time during a procedure like this?<br />
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I stayed in bed most of yesterday and this morning/early afternoon. Brad was a fantastic nurse as always. Making sure I actually stayed in bed. :) Hard for me to do. I was much more relaxed about it this time. Even though they said that you could sit up to eat last time, I ate my first meal horizontal on the couch last round. This time I did sit up to eat! And even moved my resting location a few times. <br />
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Thank you sweet friends for the delicious meal, sweet notes, texts, calls, and special delivery treats. They all brought us great comfort and encouragement.<br />
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Please continue to pray for baby Harby. I know we ask for a lot of prayers. Thank you for giving them so generously. Please also keep the women in our Common Thread ministry in your prayers also. I am not alone on this roller coaster ride for sure and we have a few women that received God's answer of, "Not yet," today. My heart is beyond heavy for them. I know this heartache all too well and am deeply saddened for them. I am thankful that God has provided a way for us to walk through this together. <br />
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Just wanted to give you a quick update. Ps- thanks for all the eye makeup remover suggestions. I can't wait to give one a spin! <br />
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Hugs.Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-9927456238193676782011-03-04T15:34:00.002-05:002011-03-04T15:38:27.222-05:00Waterproof MascaraSo two days ago I opened a new package of mascara, which is always a monumental moment for me because I use my mascara as long as possible so that I don't have to spend money to buy more and drag it out as long as possible. So I finally broke down and opened a new package of my favorite mascara. It's always hard to make the switch to a new tube, you get so used to working with the clumpage that you have to get used to working with the new texture of a fresh tube all over again. ANYWAY...the next day I washed my face like normal and still had mascara all over the place. What in the world? Loreal must have changed their formula. NOT, yesterday morning I discovered that I "accidentally" bought waterproof mascara. This is the second time I have done this. What a waste. Now I am forced to use eye make up remover, which I don't own because I can't stand the feeling of shlepping oil all over my eyes. I was frustrated with my mistake the whole time I was getting ready for the day. I had yet again wasted money on waterproof mascara. Dang it!<br />
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I carried on to bible study only to discover God had divinely appointed the mascara purchase. There was a pregnancy announcement in our group that morning. I am pretty used to getting pregnancy announcements so I wasn't expecting to get choked up about it. But I think it was just the timing...heading out of the loss of one baby and heading into a transfer this week. Not to mention I am highly injected with hormones. :) Needless to say, some tears may have found their way into the start of bible study yesterday morning. I cherish the women in that group and am thankful for the way they have supported me in all of this. They were very understanding. But I was disappointed in myself. I have said from day one that I didn't want to be the stealer of joy. I felt as though I had stolen her moment of celebration and joy. Ugh. I think the Lord has graciously allowed me to receive pregnancy news with great excitement and a genuine smile in the past knowing that every child is a miracle. But for some reason, things did not go as smoothly as they usually do yesterday. I couldn't muster up the ability to hold the tears back. I think overall I am doing really well handling the loss of our first baby and the emotions of another round of treatment, but today gave me a little clue that maybe I am not doing "good" all over. There are some parts of my heart that still hurt. <br />
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Needless to say, looking back, I don't think the waterproof mascara was a mistake. I chuckled to myself on the drive home thinking about how God even had me covered in the makeup department. Maybe He is trying to tell me that I should invest in some eye makeup remover as it may be a long time before I stop needing to wear waterproof mascara. :)<br />
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Our transfer is still scheduled for Monday. We don't have a time yet, but I will let you know when we know so you can pray more specifically. I think I am letting go more and more as the days go on. I'm starting to even get more excited about the potential colorfulness of our family if Brad and I aren't able to have our own children. Instead of being sad that they won't be blonde haired/blue-eyed babes, getting excited about the mysteriousness of what our family could look like. <br />
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Have a great weekend!! Taking suggestions for eye makeup removers. haha.Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1013256398192125707.post-82252268519226336142011-02-24T18:29:00.004-05:002011-02-25T08:15:35.875-05:00Jumping Right In...<div class="MsoNormal">Well after processing and moving through the, “Not Yet,” Brad and I decided not to leave our 3 little embryos waiting. We are jumping right into a frozen round of IVF with one of our little treasures. They ARE our children and I just can’t stand the thought of leaving them there. I know you are thinking, “Wow, are you ready for all that?” Or maybe you ‘re not. But to answer the question anyway, Brad and I felt like we were already so enveloped in the process that we thought, "Why stop now?" Nothing really changed for us after we got the “Yes.” We were still doing shots and carrying on…so why not just keep going? The doctor said there is no medical reason to wait, but if I needed an emotional break than we should hold off. I think if it doesn’t work this time, I will need an emotional break and my poor little body will need a break from all these hormones!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The frozen cycle is much easier and less involved than the process of retrieving all the eggs, etc. I am so thankful for the 3 frozen embryos and thankful we didn’t have to make a decision about whether to go through another full round or not. For now, anyway. After losing the first one I started estrogen patches to help my body prepare for the embryo transfer. Right now it is looking like March 7 for our transfer date. From there we just do the progesterone shots. Easy peasy in comparison to the last round.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I went through a period of just being numb. I didn’t know what I thought and I found myself not wanting to talk about it. And when I had those feelings, I was left wondering, “Who am I?” I have never been at a loss for words when it comes to our story, but my heart was just plain numb. That is the only way to describe it. After the numbness I was able to process and let go of our first little treasure. For some reason God did not want him or her to make it into our world. I can only cling to the truth that I know about our God, it was for our good and I don’t want anything outside of that. “And we know for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In His perfect goodness and timing, coming out of round one we were studying idols in Isaiah and how God feels about them. Let’s just say He isn’t a big fan. His word makes it VERY clear that idols are futile and foolish folly. God speaking to idols: “Tell us what is to come hereafter, that we may know that you are gods; do good or do harm, that we may be dismayed or terrified. Behold, you are nothing, and your work is less than nothing; an abomination is he who chooses you…Behold they are ALL a delusion; their works are nothing; their metal images are empty wind.” Isaiah 23-29. An idol is any devotion of the heart before Him. Am I making a child, a family an idol before my maker, my Lord? At the same time, at our Common Thread meeting this month, Kristi Russell shared her story of God leading her to the verse in 1 Samuel about Hannah (Read 1 Samuel 1 for more on Hannah's story of infertility) where her husband asks her, “Hannah, why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?” That really struck a chord with me. She shared with us that the Lord used that verse to rescue her marriage. By no means have I been perfect in this area, but I knew from day one that I did not want the desire for children to steal our marriage. This verse is a significant reminder of that. For me, I thought, “Maybe, God is saying that to me. Am I not more important to you than ten toes and ten fingers?” I had begun to believe that my world would never be complete without being given the opportunity to love one of His children. But I think this verse is a huge reminder that God is to complete my world. I was created to tell people about Him and who He is, a child would just be the cherry on top. Have I also been saying to Brad, without speaking a word, “You are not enough for me?” That makes my heart fall to pieces. I would never want him to think that, but have I unintentionally made him feel that way? Think how much more the Lord must desire for me to see Him as number one, as the completer of my world. ‘You shall have no other God before me.' Exodus 20:3. I think the Lord has been sending out warning shots for me over the last few weeks as I mourned what didn’t come to be. “I know the desires of your heart, but DO NOT put them before me.” I hear ya, loud and clear! Maybe I should flag this post because I have a feeling I might need a few reminders along the way.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">That same night, at the Common Thread meeting, God used the beautiful stories He had written in the other women’s lives to peel back my little fingers (and I have come to learn through those around me that they are little. ;) ) one by one and loosen my grip on the dreams I have for my family. None of these women would have drawn the same family portrait 20 years ago that they have now, but they wouldn’t trade the vibrant portrait that God painted of their family for anything in the world. I heard the beautiful stories and I am beginning to realize that the story I have written will NEVER compare to the one He has for us. “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” Ecc. 3:11. While I was walking LT today, I just prayed that God would allow me to fully release MY story and to let Him write HIS story. I imagine He has a pretty good one up His sleeve somewhere. I'm reaching pretty far up that sleeve. I know its gotta be up there somewhere. :)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Every time I post, Brad says, “Dang, this is so long!” Wait until he gets a load of this one. Haha. Maybe if I posted more frequently they wouldn’t be so long. I will see what I can do about that. Thanks for sticking with me and trudging through the musings of my heart over the last few weeks. </div>Sharlieharbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02355316642278952775noreply@blogger.com6