Somehow I have managed to become even busier than I was when I was working full time. I have no idea how I did everything before. We did get to take a few vacations and I am very thankful for that time, but I feel overwhelmed trying to catch up on 2 years worth of projects. Checking it off, one thing at a time!
I never dreamed I would say this, but I think Brad and I are going to push back treatments a month or so. Brad almost fell out of the booth at Chili’s when I told him that August was too soon. All along, the opportunity to attempt pregnancy couldn’t come soon enough. I really felt the Lord saying, just wait a bit. I have to trust that His timing is better than ours. Often that is easy to say and more difficult to put into practice, but I feel at peace with our decision. I feared telling Brad that I was feeling that way, because I knew when I told him that I was then making a commitment to wait. But obviously I am glad I did. The process is so intimidating. And I think we both feel like we really haven’t had the time we need to get emotionally prepared.
The hardest part is taking the first step in faith to begin the process. I think when pregnancy happens naturally, you are forced to take the journey as it comes. You don’t have a choice. I think Brad and I feel like we are signing up for a roller coaster ride and it is hard to take the first step. With IVF, you are signing up for much more than heartburn, nausea, swollen feet, and stretch marks…and the daunting task of become a parent. It’s more like big shots, crazy hormones, possible ovary over stimulation, anesthesia, procedures, more shots, miscarriages… “Ooooo, pick me, pick me!” It is a lot to sign up for with a WHOLE heck of a lot of unknowns. I think we are going to just enjoy the summer and look more towards Sept/October.
Thank you for the encouraging emails, texts, and messages.
Much love,
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