There is a first for everything...

I know it has been awhile since I blogged last.  Honestly, I have found myself withdrawing in this IVF process.  Me, withdraw?  Never.  But I guess there is a first for everything.   My sweet mother reminded me that I am excluding myself from prayer by withdrawing and I am not ministering to the other women I said I wanted to be ministering to in this process.  You can always count on your mom to tell you the things you don’t want to hear. Thanks mom for holding me accountable.

Step one after starting the birth control pill, was paper work, shot administration training and a trial transfer.  My trial transfer went great Tuesday.  I guess putting me to sleep made it easier for the docs to do what they needed to do since it didn’t go as planned the first time around when I was awake.  I was super nervous about being put to sleep, but the nursing staff was so sweet and made the whole process a great experience.  And then I had a great excuse to sleep the rest of the day!  That is hard for me to do, so I soaked it up.

And today I gave myself my very first shot!  My second run at a first time for everything.  My sweet friend, Natalie Huggins, who is a nurse, came over and coached me through the whole ordeal.  It was so great to have someone there who knew a thing or two about needles and viles to make sure I knew what the heck I was doing.  After we got the shot prepped, I sat down to give myself the shot and could not bear to put the needle into my skin.  It is one thing to give someone else a shot, but something ain’t right about injecting yourself.  I kept bringing the needle really close to my skin and backing away saying, “Ahhhh, I can’t do it!”  Natalie, in her cleverness made it a life threatening situation.  She said, “Okay, you are a diabetic and you HAVE to get this insulin in your system or you are going to die.  You have to do this to live.”  What else was I going to do?  This was do or die.  So, I finally drummed up the courage to break the skin and give myself my very first shot.   Yay!  My mother can attest to this, shots are NOT my thing.  When I was little and I even saw a small chair with an arm rest on it, I would automatically combust into a tears and then throw myself on the floor.  This wasn’t last year, I swear.  So for me to give myself a shot is a pretty significant accomplishment.  Only,  30 more or so to go!  Thanks Natalie for serving me and blessing me with your nursing skills.  Wish you were going to be here tomorrow.  Maybe I can train LT to tell me that it’s do or die.

Natalie was so encouraging, but then we started discussing the details of some of my inter-muscular shots and I had to shove a pretzel in my mouth and sit down.  I got so queasy. Ugh.  I might have to find someone to administer those…I don’t know if I can stomach it. I think I can survive these smaller shots, but hearing about the other kind that come in round 2 made me want to barf. 

I’m feeling okay so far. I don't know what to expect. Honestly, the antibiotics are the hardest on my body, but I am sure some of these hormones will out do them in no time.  I am praying that I don’t get sick…feeling like I am fighting something every day around 4 pm into the rest of the evening.  Might just be  caffeine withdrawals. J   I am trying to stay focused on the verse from Isaiah that I posted previously.  I just need to trust Him and He will give me perfect peace, lacking nothing.  I am most nervous about the outcome, praying that God would prepare my heart for whatever the outcome may be.  I am scared for it to not work and then have to go through a time of mourning all over again.  So, I am praying that I would be spiritually, mentally, and emotionally prepared for that.   I’ll get over all the shots and procedures, but I am nervous about how my heart will handle the outcome.

Next week is our debut for Common Thread.  The church is graciously allowing us to do a ministry spotlight.  We recorded a video of three different women’s journeys through infertility and hope to show that there is a common thread in all of their stories, their hearts simply long to be what God made them to be, mothers.  Tiffany and I are really excited to get the ball rolling and to host our very first meeting on January 18^th.  Please pray that hearts would be encouraged and that we would continue to follow God’s lead in this ministry.  We have already had a few women reach out in response to an article in the women’s ministry newsletter.  I pray that it continues to grow and that the Lord's hand would be on it.  Thank you Ryan Galy for helping us nail down a logo.  Thanks for sharing your gifts with our ministry.  We think it is just beautiful!

 I hope to also be able to post the video after it is shown at church.  Thank you, Mike Dingfield for patiently working with all the ladies on this special video.  Thanks for serving with your talents.

Thank you for your prayers and for all the sweet ways you all let us know you are thinking of us.  The emails, little notes, text messages, meals, and sweet treats have all been a huge blessing this week.  Thank you for choosing to walk with us.